More and more I’ve come to know, in that gut-inspired way of knowing that I love so much, that peace abides within me. Regardless of my circumstances, regardless of what is happening ‘around me’ or ‘to me’, peace is a choice I can make.
I didn’t always know this, and in fact, I was raised to be reactive. My models were reactive. My life was constant chaos for which I was made to feel responsible and that instilled in me a desperate anxiety, a constant hyper-vigilence that left no room at all for peace.
Somewhere along the way, perhaps through attending 12 Step programs and taking the Serenity Prayer to heart, I discovered that reactivity sucks. Knowing that didn’t change anything at first, though. It took years of self-inquiry to get to a place where what was very ingrained in me could change.
I still struggle with the knee-jerk reaction. I had one last night. I’ll have one tomorrow, and the next day, and next month…but the gap between knee-jerk reactions and peace abiding are lengthening bit by bit, and I am so fucking grateful.
Yesterday, I did a lot of thinking about peace and its value to me. I didn’t used to value it or even think about it much. I was what I was: a pain junkie, an anxiety riddled reactive, a victim of circumstances, and I didn’t know any better or that change was even possible.
These last few years have brought me lovingly and tenderly into the arms of peace, and I am pretty sure I have my muse, my creative muscle, to thank for it.
This came up for me yesterday because I was working with Soulistry by June Maffin, as I do every Wednesday for the premium membership in Book Of Days. I want to share this edition of Soulistry With Effy with you because I’m very interested in your take on peace. Would you do me a huge favour? Download the PDF and play with it. Make some art. Come back here and tell me what you discovered or know or suspect about peace.
Here’s the PDF
Just right click to download it to your desk top or left click to view it in your browser.
There is a direct link to the video, but please be forewarned: it is an hour long. :)