First! A Vlog! If you’re reading this in a feed reader, you might need to click here to view it.
And now for the secret to a happy marriage when one gets premenstrual psychosis. (Well, not quite, but close enough!)
Like most of my female compatriots, I get premenstrual. Like, really premenstrual. And along with the unpleasant physical impact of the sudden rushing of hormones through my veins, there is, now and again, also some pretty significant emotional impact.
Every third or fourth cycle or so, I lose my fucking mind. I have a crying jag or a bout of what must be intensely frustrating paranoia. I can’t be paid to shut up. I am miserable to be around, and can honestly barely even stand myself.
A long time ago (like ~ years ago), I recommended to Manfingy that he sign up for PMS Buddy. He looked at me like I had three head because it seems like a really self-denigrating thing to suggest, and you, dear reader, might think that it’s really very anti-woman or anti-feminist of me, but listen ~ reality trumps feminism in my house. If knowing ahead of time that I am about to enter that twilight zone of batshit crazy helps both Manfingy and I manage it, I call that a win.
And it DOES help us manage it. He gets the reminder, and I *know* he’s going to get the reminder, and somehow that knowledge makes me more mindful about it. If I start to feel emotionally amped up, I’ll *ask* him if he got a reminder.
“Hmmmm. I’m really cranky. Did you get a reminder?”
“As a matter of fact I did…”
And I’ll feel my boobs and voila. I know I’m premenstrual, and I can gauge whatever is going on with that knowledge on board. There is nothing worse than feeling batshit crazy without having a good reason, and PMS, which in my case swings on over into premenstrual disphoric disorder every quarter or so is a *very good reason*.
Now and then the Manfingy will get the reminder and then come home from work with flowers or a bar of 70% cocoa chocolate with sea salt or some other little trifling sweet treat that can make the difference between a raging bout of resentment flu or feeling completely appreciated. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, and he doesn’t say “I got the reminder, so here’s some chocolate…”. He just does something extra sweet because he knows it’s a particularly difficult time for me.
I think talking to your husband/lover/partner about it if you find your moods swinging the week before your period is a really good idea. Telling him/her what s/he can do to help. I also think single women could stand to know when they’re riding the crazy hormone train, frankly. KNOWING that your hormones are raging can actually help you deal more effectively with the mood swings. If you know that’s what it is, then it becomes a lot easier to derail the spiral down.
It’s the little things that make life easier, eh?
xo
Effy
P.S. The site is a little bit cheeky. If you are lacking a sense of humour, you’d probably be better off if you avoided it.
P.P.S. You’re welcome!
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I always called PMS “parental mental syndrome”! But now that I have passed menopause, I KNOW I have because I am not overheating anymore I’m actually cold, I am just numb. No crying jags, no cramps, minimal mood swings! But I still have the misery. I will always have the misery but over the years I have learned to nurture myself! Took a lot of years to get there and am still working at it!
your room is great! I used to have a room the was the room above a 2 car garage! it was HUGE and it was full. I left a lot of it behind when I divorced the good (not so good) doctor! Now I am married to a macanic (sp. Yikes my spelling is getting awful as I get older!) but I am happy with my hubby and my small house! My stuff is on a cart in the kitchen, the bulk of it stored in the basement and I do a lot of work in my living room. But I am content with it all!
I am SO beyond happy…to see you so happy in your new space. What a sacred, beautiful space full of so much potential. Your gorgeous, creative soul is sparkling in this video. :))) xo
YouTube won’t let me comment with the link so here ya go: https://twitter.com/ZerinaX/status/275044009364307970/photo/1 I think your hair has total potential for the “Van Cleef” as it grows out! hehehehe. <3
That app is a great concept. I guess the benefit of having HBC pills is that about halfway through week 3's pills, I know my shit's about to get all wonktastic and can try to stave off The Crazy with more self-care… and less human interaction. LOL :X
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Hi Effy – love your new space and hope we get to see it in color and in daylight. I love small spaces, cozy and intimate. I am going right this second to set up an alter in my arting space!
I thought when menopause hit: yessssss, finally – I am free of moodswings and PMS and all the trouble now. Hell no I wasn’t! I suffer from heatflashes for four years now and only now – I mean, what the heck, after FOUR year – they are managable and getting less… I really don’t know what I find worst, pms or menopause… I’m desperately waiting to get where Ruth is now: cold and numb ;)
Effy, you have spun your own little cocoon, where you can create and emerge refreshed and new! I’m so happy for you! Having your own sacred space for excavating your soul in whatever way works for you should not be a luxury for a woman. It should on that bottom rung of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (meaning it’s of the utmost importance). There should be a law! Oh, the wonderful things that will come from that happy place……I can hardly wait! Congrats, fearless leader!
What a great space! It’s wonderful to see you have your own studio. And PMS? Honey, glad to be done w/ that! Still have the Hot Flashes, but they’re a manageable electric hum.