First! A Vlog! If you’re reading this in a feed reader, you might need to click here to view it.
And now for the secret to a happy marriage when one gets premenstrual psychosis. (Well, not quite, but close enough!)
Like most of my female compatriots, I get premenstrual. Like, really premenstrual. And along with the unpleasant physical impact of the sudden rushing of hormones through my veins, there is, now and again, also some pretty significant emotional impact.
Every third or fourth cycle or so, I lose my fucking mind. I have a crying jag or a bout of what must be intensely frustrating paranoia. I can’t be paid to shut up. I am miserable to be around, and can honestly barely even stand myself.
A long time ago (like ~ years ago), I recommended to Manfingy that he sign up for PMS Buddy. He looked at me like I had three head because it seems like a really self-denigrating thing to suggest, and you, dear reader, might think that it’s really very anti-woman or anti-feminist of me, but listen ~ reality trumps feminism in my house. If knowing ahead of time that I am about to enter that twilight zone of batshit crazy helps both Manfingy and I manage it, I call that a win.
And it DOES help us manage it. He gets the reminder, and I *know* he’s going to get the reminder, and somehow that knowledge makes me more mindful about it. If I start to feel emotionally amped up, I’ll *ask* him if he got a reminder.
“Hmmmm. I’m really cranky. Did you get a reminder?”
“As a matter of fact I did…”
And I’ll feel my boobs and voila. I know I’m premenstrual, and I can gauge whatever is going on with that knowledge on board. There is nothing worse than feeling batshit crazy without having a good reason, and PMS, which in my case swings on over into premenstrual disphoric disorder every quarter or so is a *very good reason*.
Now and then the Manfingy will get the reminder and then come home from work with flowers or a bar of 70% cocoa chocolate with sea salt or some other little trifling sweet treat that can make the difference between a raging bout of resentment flu or feeling completely appreciated. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, and he doesn’t say “I got the reminder, so here’s some chocolate…”. He just does something extra sweet because he knows it’s a particularly difficult time for me.
I think talking to your husband/lover/partner about it if you find your moods swinging the week before your period is a really good idea. Telling him/her what s/he can do to help. I also think single women could stand to know when they’re riding the crazy hormone train, frankly. KNOWING that your hormones are raging can actually help you deal more effectively with the mood swings. If you know that’s what it is, then it becomes a lot easier to derail the spiral down.
It’s the little things that make life easier, eh?
P.S. The site is a little bit cheeky. If you are lacking a sense of humour, you’d probably be better off if you avoided it.
P.P.S. You’re welcome!