March 4, 2013
So, here’s the thing. I have a site called The Glitterhood (formerly Wild Soul Arts) which houses my paid classes as well as free stuff for anyone who’s into the mixed media art journaling thing to enjoy. I created the space because, yes, I wanted a permanent, relatively easy home to host my classes, but ALSO because I wanted to give away some stuff for free, and because I wanted to give people a place to share their own stuff. Their art journal spreads. Their videos. Their blog posts.
I made it, in short, for my tribe.
I did not think of this as an act of leadership. I thought of it a little like the baseball field in “Field of Dreams”. If you build it, they will come.
And they did.
But now?
Those who aren’t actually in my classes have no idea what to do there. It lacks purpose because all my leadership efforts are focused in my paid classes and not in the site in general.
*Epiphany*
Yes, I give of myself there. Every Monday, I post about my week in art. I share some musings about intentional creativity. I share resources that are rocking my socks. But it isn’t inviting. It’s just information, like a magazine. It doesn’t elicit any kind of two way response.
I yearn for conversation. I don’t want to be up on some pedestal where I write and share and folks feel there’s no room for THEM to write and share. That is the *exact* opposite of my intention.
***
There’s a lot of inner work going on for me right now.
First there was the whole “Give up your name or else” thing, which felt awful and scary and annoying as hell until I decided I just did NOT want to die on that mountain any time soon. I opted for the peaceful option, which was to change the name of my business from Wild Soul Arts (a name I *really really love*) to The Glitterhood (a really, really fun name that I also love.)
I desperately wanted to just make the change and move on, but the change shone a spotlight on what really wasn’t working in my on line community. It created an OPPORTUNITY to look more closely at whether or not the space is fulfilling my mission.
The first part of my mission (which was to create a permanent home for my on line classes) has been beautifully fulfilled. That aspect of things works and I love how easy it is (relatively) to maintain. Yes, there are hiccoughs with invitations not getting through or people getting lost in the site, but the MAJORITY of the time for the MAJORITY of the people who pay for my classes, this space works.
It’s some of what I’m offering for free that isn’t working. There’s something off with the format or the structure. It is all too one way ~ I talk, you listen. I write, you read. I art, you look. This is making me deeply unhappy because the second part of my mission is to CONNECT with folks whether they are paying clients or not. My mission includes providing easily accessible VALUE to those who can’t afford another class or who prefer to dip in and out without commitment.
I talked myself (for a little while) into ignoring the lack of conversation because this is ‘just marketing’. I told myself “be happy whether there’s participation or not because dude! People are signing up for your stuff! It’s all good! Huzzah!”
And it’s true that people have told me over and over again that they bought stuff from me based on the strength of my free stuff. That’s a powerful testament to the value of the free stuff.
But ‘marketing’ isn’t my purpose. I honestly couldn’t give a rats ass about marketing. It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with it ~ it’s just not my thing. It isn’t where my heart lives. My purpose is to connect. My purpose is to have conversations. My purpose is to facilitate empowerment and healing through art. My purpose is to align myself with the divine as I understand it and shine that as brightly as I can.
I’m not sure, at this point, how to make that happen, but it starts with simplifying some things, and I’ll be working on that this week.
***
I’ve been really struggling with discerning between wanting to create a sense of community (conversation) and seeking approval. Is wanting the two way conversation approval seeking? At first, I didn’t know because there was a small, bratty, miserable part of me that felt *rejected* because of the lack of conversation. There was a part of me that perceived the lack of participation in one group in particular (the one where I share my week in art and musings) as a failure to please and that triggered a whole history of needing to please, of wanting to be loved at all costs, of feeling *afraid* that failure would lead to suffering and pain and self-loathing.
It took a day to flail about with this because this is shit I’ve dealt with before. It takes a bit of getting quiet and listening to the inner voices to know what’s really going on. Wanting to do the very best FOR YOU is not approval seeking. It’s good leadership. Wanting to make something that works for my tribe is not whiny attention getting. It’s my *purpose*.
Over the years, I have become capable of sharing with you, my tribe, when I’m discouraged or feeling like a failure. Some folks insist that this is not business like or that a good leader must always be strong and together and up for whatever curveballs life throws her way. I used to ABJECTLY REFUSE to accept that I was any kind of leader. Even the word ‘teacher’ rankled my astral scrotum. I just wanted to be a girl who did what she does out loud.
But people who do what they do out loud are leaders. People who demonstrate, who share, who encourage are teachers.
If it walks like a duck…
So, yes. I’m a leader. But I’m also just a girl who does her stuff out loud and who is willing to dance with her shadow where other folks can watch.
My honesty about my stuff scandalizes some people, because they have this idea that I’m supposed to be their guru or their ‘fearless leader’ or some shining example of perfection.
I call bullshit.
We’re not about power over or being the best in this tribe. We’re about self-expression and creativity, and sometimes what we need to express is that things are hard, or that we’re feeling discouraged. Doing so means you can receive the support and encouragement of your people. Doing so means your people know that it’s okay to feel discouraged and ask for support. It isn’t weak. It is absolutely ballsy.
I’m absolutely ballsy.
So, this is me saying I’m discouraged because I want the answers right now about how to make this the absolute shining manifestation of my vision, and the answers are slow to come. I’m discouraged because my intentions and what I’m actually creating aren’t meeting in the middle.
I need to slow down. I need to get quiet. I need to figure out how best to serve my purpose without falling prey to all the marketing bullshit that’s going around out there. I need to stop worrying about how my wanting to serve you ‘seems’ or ‘looks’, and just get to the business of serving you. Time and noodling and exploring what will work will fix this.
And that’s what I’m fixing to do.
All my love,
Effy
P.S. While I’m figuring out how best to serve you, I would LOVE it with all my heart if you’d pop in here throughout the week and share your art (links if you’re on my blog or photographs if you’re in the network), your heart, your musings, your thoughts on what I wrote above, or about anything at all.
Talk to me.
Meanwhile, I had a very artful week and I’ll show you mine if you try to show me yours. xo
Monday
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Friday
Arting on a manilla envelope
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Oh hunny, we are very much on the same page right now! There’s a lot out there about how we *should* be doing it, but I think your tribe is a tribe-on-the-edges. It isn’t a mainstream, slick, spend-thousands-on-a-course tribe. I hugely respect that about you.
Many teachers don’t connect much with the people they teach online, and for some people that may be OK, but I’m in the other camp – I want connection both as a student and as a teacher.
I’m sure you will find your way very soon and I’m excited to see where it leads :)
I want connection, too, and definitely quality over quantity. It’s so important to me and I know it will mean less money, but money isn’t everything. :)
you rock my socks off pts. i adore your ballsiness. (is that a word?) (who cares if it isn’t?)
“My purpose is to connect. My purpose is to have conversations. My purpose is to facilitate empowerment and healing through art. My purpose is to align myself with the divine as I understand it and shine that as brightly as I can.”
Actually, in modern terms that is marketing. It is what sells and what people want.
Those who are telling you that you should keep your shit to yourself are also misguided.
Quite frankly, I don’t trust perfect people because I know they’re lying.
Also, I am far less motivated by those who seem to be “above” or “better” than me because they make me feel bad. Authenticity sells and that means honesty. We all have bad days, and I’m pretty sure that most will respect you more when you’re honest about it.
You are honest, and I think I can be so bold as to say that there are many of us who love your for it.
Please keep on keeping on!
Jenny Ann Fraser recently posted..Comment on SWOON! by Jenny Ann Fraser
I don’t trust the appearance of perfect, either, because there is absolutely no such thing. I get slick. It works for some people. It doesn’t work for me. ;)
Oh Effy, I’m so sorry that you are so discombobulated over this! I’ve been mulling over your comments over the weekend and have concluded two things – one is that having not paid for your course this year, I feel that your attention should be for those who have paid (value for money and all), so less interaction. But also, I find it easier to find you on facebook – I’m on there all the time so I watch for your posts coming up there (I clearly need the reminders!). I love popping across to see what you’ve done and what you’ve got to say and I love reading your blog posts. So thank you – my art journey wouldn’t have been the same (actually, it wouldn’t have begun) without your courses. Much love xx
I’m hearing from some folks (not just you!) that they are uncomfortable ‘asking for my time and attention’ by commenting because they aren’t ‘paying clients’, but what I think folks don’t realize is that your comments, thoughts, art are an energy exchange for me. That kind of response *is* ‘payment in kind’. It is energy ~ energy that I can take in and create with and it is SO VALUABLE.
So, if you hold back because you think I’m too busy to read, please know that when you share your thoughts, art, musings, questions, you are actually *trading energy for energy* and I live for that. <3
Thank you Effy – I’ll do my best to remember and share!
Definitely keep the words coming! Right now, I am too sad to make a comment about all that you wrote. I am going to contemplate all that you said and get back to you. i just need to lick my wounds for a little while. Know that you are a pivotal person in my life,effy, you being YOU brought me out of my silent funk and has me at least talking to people again, withdrawal and isolation are not healthy. Reading what you right makes me feel good about ME! Knowing that I am not alone. I even feel that I can “risk” putting myself out there, in my art journaling, and this tribe will get to know my deep dark secrets through those pages…Please don’t stop what you are doing, it is monumental! (whoops, guess I didn’t have to contemplate after all)! LOL I love you bunches effy, I am just not as good putting it into words as you are! Skip the marketing stuff, it’s a turn off!
Ruth
I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time, love. xo I can’t skip marketing altogether ~ I just need to learn how to market in a way that feels true to me. Quality, not quantity. That’s my mantra. :)
“Wanting to do the very best FOR YOU is not approval seeking. It’s good leadership. Wanting to make something that works for my tribe is not whiny attention getting. It’s my *purpose*.”
You look cute when you walk like a duck. I like it when you quack too.
Hey, baby … you can please some of the people some of the time, but never all of the people all of the time.
Remember not to stretch yourself too thin, and to remain conscious. Consciousness and Enlightenment often do not live in the same place, oddly enough.
I have met some very enlightened people with the consciousness of a three year old, and vice versa.
To me, consciousness has a lot to do with appreciating the moment. I am learning how to appreciate the moments. And honoring what it took to get there.
Not everyone will be on planet Effy. But at least you sent the invite. And when I go, I love the leader.
Thank you, baby. xo
You be one of the hearts of art Bean.
When people like you come into our lives and let it all out we begin to understand that it`s not just OK to be real, our souls require it. They in fact demand it in order to evolve and expand into what they were sent here to be.
Love you, Mr. Hackett. xo
Good morning (it still is morning here!), Effy! I’ve been reading the conversation about this on FB and now your blog post here. I’m sorry the lack of feedback in the free area causes you to feel discouraged; and I can understand how it might.
When I think of ALL the ways I have access to what you offer, that one place … the Ning group (at least for me) is not as user-friendly as FB as far as interacting with others goes. (Ning seems wonderful for classes, though.) There is a BIG difference in interaction, so it’s probably not just me feeling that way.
If part of the reason behind the free stuff is marketing, so what … you are trying to make a living! But anyone who follows you for any length of time knows your heart is not about marketing … clearly, you are about community. So when I look at what your goals are for what you’re doing, I think … look at her; she’s really succeeding!
I LOVE when you send links through FB for your blog posts, and I don’t always have time or anything “new” to add comment-wise, but I do read just about everything you put out there. I value your contribution to my education, not only about all things art-journal, but the soul-mining as well. It hurts my heart to hear you are discouraged, but I hope that feeling that doesn’t last long! I <3 you for being real and human and who you are!
NING is a pooper. I hate it more and more. True fact.
Effy,
There is nothing wrong with the word “marketing”. Excellent marketing is about understanding what you have to offer to whom, with authenticity. Believe me, I am a marketer by profession. The shitty aspect of marketing is not good marketing.
I think things will become clearer and clearer in a two-fold way: first, as you dig deeper and deeper into your own art, to the threshold of your evolving as an artist (yes yes, in a very non-competitive way, just for your own enjoyment). Second, to envision your tribe as a collection of sub-tribes, and their respective appearing needs (newbies, entrepreneur artists, seasoned hobby artists, however you see fit to understand your sub-tribes).
Being fully authentic, spiritual, and non-bullshit prone sides are fully compatible with being a leader AND a seasoned marketer. Think about marrying together the sacred in your approach and the leadership of an authentic artist who knows her offer to the market is full of love. I really believe the digging deeper in your own artistic enjoyment WHILE developing your business side to continue to serve your “sub-tribes” and their different needs, will be a winning combination. Inspiring exchanges will unfold exponentially eventually. Lastly, yes, your authenticity is part of your brand, but I think generosity is too. I would suggest you write on paper, apart from those two beautiful qualities, the other artistic reasons people glue to your offers, free or not. Some may like your artistic style…what else (tons of other reasons). Come on people, tell her! Finally, excellence in marketing is defined as knowing to serve, and to serve well. Don’t be shy about that. It is part of being a leader, and having something valuable to share.
With love, Lucie
This is a gorgeous response and I copy/pasted it to my “remember this” file. xo
Dear Effy, I am one of those people who are SURE that you are too busy to hear from me! I REALLY don’t want to “bother” you. Now that speaks more to me as a “follower” than to you as a leader. And I definitely think you are a leader. I found you quite by accident and have watched your progression. Your art inspires me. And that is also what a good leader does. I don’t comment frequently or share because I really don’t think about sharing my art. I just do and go on. So I hope this helps explain why I don’t comment or share much. You are inspiring and brave to put yourself out there. Kudos to you!
It does explain it and I TOTALLY get it, and there might come a time when I will be grateful that there are folks that respect my time the way you obviously do! I’m not quite there yet ~ I’m in this weird between place where I want to throw myself headlong into interaction ~ but I’ve seen some of my peers shoot into huge numbers of readers and the days of that kind of interaction have to be retired. It’s just not possible to run a business and interact with everybody, and I am learning that. <3 Thank you for letting me know that you enjoy what I do. It means the world to me.
Hello Miss Effy…can’t tell you how much I enjoy the Glitterhood…I’m just a quite one. Always have been…most of the time I think I don’t have anything worth saying. But I will express my immense admiration for the write-up you did a bit ago about alchoholism…you are one brave lady! I almost commented then, but felt you might be overwhelmed! Wrong, huh?
So, I hope that all is going well in your world and you are finding lots of time to get creative. Love the art you have posted…makes my fingers itch to get busy! This is my day off…it is half over and I have not made it into the studio! Sad face!!!! Must get off of this computer right now, and maybe I can post something new this evening. Hugs!!!
I adore this! Thank you so much for sharing what you’re thinking about the things I write. Comments make me super happy, so thank you x a bazillion for taking the time to comment on this. xo
I wish I had something more *waves hands* useful? insightful? to comment, because this post is all kinds of awesomesausage and amazeballs. All I can say is, you continue to inspire me and your ability and willingness to share your hardships and growth is just one part of why I absolutely adore you. :) Also, you write about the serious topics but say things like “rankled my astral scrotum” and that makes me LOL for realsies. :D
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Thank you, baby. :) And YES! Astra scrotums are highly underrated. :)
Dear Effy,
If your hearts desire is to serve, you do, no matter, how it looks to you.
Some people need to interact with you, the others just need to read or watch from you to get inspired and carry on in their lives. And, than, there are those like me, who just love you and pop in now and than to see, how you are doing :D
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Yes. A thousand times. Thank you for this lovely reminder. xo
Effy, I’m with so many of the others. Traditional marketing (without soul) is a turnoff. One of the things that drew me to you, your site and your classes is the fact that you are real, that you dance with your shadow and you dare to do it in public. What courage! That is truly a gift for those of us out here, it gives us permission and encouragement to do the same. You are wholy/holy beautiful.
My very first (and only, until BOD) mixed-media class (“in-person” class) was with someone who didn’t show her whole self and came across as “holier than thou,” and closed off to learning from her students. It didn’t feel like a supportive environment. I ended up quitting, without a refund, after two of the four sessions. It was a relief to get out of there. I won’t take another class from her. Perhaps it was me and the space I was in at the time, or maybe she really is like I stated. Either way, I had to honor what I was feeling.
I just finished my first layer of the cover on my BOD (live version), and my first spread. Every time I look at the spread I feel uncomfortable. I’m feeling vulnerable. I’m working up the courage to share it. And I know when I do, I will be supported. In a real and meaningful way, rather than a superficial, glossy way.
I love that about you.
I’m so excited you’re doing boot camp and ENJOYING IT, and I, too, have had the experience of trying to do soul work alongside someone who seemed not be soulful ~ know what I mean? So, I get it. I really do. As soon as the soul goes out of it for me, I’m done. I will move on to something else. That’s a promise. xo
I Loved this post, simply because you argue out loud with yourself (as do we all quietly) and WE get to hear it! LOL! I sort of had the same sort of cunundrum….I would get dissapointed if someone didnt respond to my art. Then it hit me….WHY I create…..Its to Inspire…right? BUT there are so many levels of spirit out there!!!!!! OMG! SO, “IF” someone LOVES that particular piece of art, then it spoke to “their” spirit/soul. My next one might speak to someone else…YEP! all I want is to Inspire! its like seeing a sunset alone, you just CANT tell someone what it looked like because you FELT it….same with music, art, acting/movies, ect….each thing will touch one soul, but not “every” soul! BTW I would love if you had more “vlogs”! I can never get enough! xoxo!!
SO many levels of spirit. YES! Thank you for this reminder. <3
This is the best stream of consciousness post… lol Poor marketing. It has gotten such a terrible rap. What we as a society have done with it is the problem, advertisers in particular have made it a very dirty word.
Honestly, when you are following your heart, and giving of yourself with integrity, you are an automatic beacon to those who need/want to connect with you. That’s all marketing really is. It’s an ugly name for a beautiful connecting experience…. when it’s done well, with love and honesty (brutal or otherwise), and a heart steeped in service, there is nothing smarmy or unethical about it.
But rather than see it as ‘marketing’, if there is a slight shift in our fearful perception of what it means to be standing in our own power, we’ll be able to see that we’re cheating everyone (including and mostly ourselves) when we fail to be our most authentic selves and bring our unique gifts to the world around us.
I try to imagine what the world would be like if we were all OVER the competition and judgment thing, and the money thing, and the survival thing, and the ‘fit-in’ thing, and we all just started to recognize our beautiful inner workings and inner selves and let them come through and do whatever the hell they wanted to do out in the world.
You ‘get’ that, and that the adventure is life, and that your gifts are for sharing (all of them, because even the ones that might be icky for you personally are valuable to us for growth and insight). Whatever you decide to do, I know you’ll keep doing it for your heart, and that everything else will work out perfectly <3
Thank you so much. So much affirmation in this post. You are so eloquent and it hit me where it needed to hit me. Thank you. xo
i love what you wrote about the comments/connection being a form of energy exchange….that is SO very true.
i’ve been mulling over this “give your stuff away for free” thing for a looooong time…the only reason i haven’t done it sooner was because i was listening to Other People who said it was The Worst Thing Ever. that made me unhappy because what i still felt like i wanted to share what i had to offer….
i think the world needs an incredible shift away from believing that money is the only currency….for me, one or two comments on what i’ve offered, is like a million bucks. they make me feel seen and heard and the personal connection is a way bigger motivator than money.
you are offering the world such a VAST amount of gorgeousness….and what makes it all gorgeous is that YOU are the one doing it….you’ll sort this stuff out, i know you will…and your light will beam ever brighter for the time you spent working through it.
big love…and a shake of my pom-poms….xoxo
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You said: i think the world needs an incredible shift away from believing that money is the only currency….for me, one or two comments on what i’ve offered, is like a million bucks. they make me feel seen and heard and the personal connection is a way bigger motivator than money.
Yes. x A bazillion. xo