Category Archives: Creative Business

The Courage To Fail Spectacularly

“Willow” ~ Mixed media on paper.

There is something about doing a live show that simultaneously terrifies and delights me. It is *instant feedback*. There is no doubt what people are thinking about what you’re doing because they are *right there* and they *tell you*.

I spent four hours on Ustream on Saturday, demonstrating doodling in paint on a Gelli plate to create painted papers to use in art journal spreads, acrylic glazing medium mixed with cheap paint for more translucent effect and increased blend-ability, and then I went all in and created a painting from blank to finished.

It was fucking awesome, and if you make it through to the end of this post, I’ll have the time lapsed version of the face painting portion for you.

***

It takes guts to do live shows. That’s where the terrified part comes in. There is every chance that I will fail spectacularly while I’m streaming live. But the awesome thing about failing spectacularly while streaming live is you get to demonstrate the ‘moving through’ part that we could all stand to see. When I watch a teacher fuck it up and then FIX IT, I feel empowered, and from what I hear, my folks feel similarly inspired when they watch me fuck it up and then fix it.

So, this post is part tooting my own horn and part gratitude for those artists who are willing to fail spectacularly while we all watch. You empower us all. Thank you.

***

Failing spectacularly is a part of life. There is no achievement I know of that wasn’t attended by a few awesome face plants along the way. No one gets to be in a great place in their business or life without lots of oopsies and whoopsies and wrong turns and course corrections. I know this to be true for me. I don’t know about you, but failure wasn’t an option when I was a child, and that led to a real terror of screwing something up ~ so much so that I would refuse to try in order to avoid failing.

Thankfully, I grew out of that and I am infinitely willing to fail (even though I remain terrified as ever) because I know no good thing happens without failure as part of the process. The trick is to *never let failure stop you ever.* Let it teach you. Let it redirect you. Do not let it stop you.

Failure can be your best friend. It is a clear indicator that there is a skill you need to learn or a practice you need to undertake if you’re going to get where you want to go. It feels awful ~ I know it does ~ but once you’re done tucking into a carton of Haagen Daas, try again. Keep trying.

The only way through failing at anything it is *through*.

***

You read all the way through? You rock my poptarts! Thank you! Here’s a video. xo

P.S. Sweetlings MINI is still available for registration and all the course content is just waiting for you to dive in. I’d love it if you’d join me! Use coupon code glitter for $10 off.

Moleskine Love and Other Musings.

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Hello, lovely. It’s been awhile, and I know I kind of left you all hanging (unless you’re my Facebook friend, in which case you’ve been getting an earful of me regularly). I don’t want to be all anti-climatic, but the prodigal husband & I reunited after a ten day separation and made the decision to move forward with our mission, ~~which is to drive one another batshit~~ which is to love one another unconditionally while we help one another unpack our own individual sets of baggage. It’s been a good few days for us and after a lot of intense anxiety, I am finally settling into feeling a sense of safety again. Not permanence. Not certainty. But safety.

In the meantime, I have gone at my journaling practice with a renewed sense of gusto because that shit works to keep me on top of my own stuff and I need to be on top of my own stuff right now. I need to be doing the regular sifting of what’s mine and what’s his and what’s important and what can be shelved until later.

My journaling practice is being informed (hugely and deliciously) by Susannah Conway’s “Journal Your Life” which I treated myself to for Spring Equinox. It is the most fun I’ve ever had in a non-art course, and I have been having stationarygasms and ephiphanygasms and lots of self-inquirygasms of late. I begin my days by writing long, long entries in a Moleskine Folio. I end the day writing love notes to my life in a little Moley I keep in my bedside table. I also bought myself a huge teal binder and the DayTimer Two Page A Day system, which makes me feel all grown up and official (even if I do use coloured pens in it). I plan now. I keep a business diary. I muse on what’s working and what isn’t and how to do it better and what I’m doing right.

It’s the little things.

Planner with post it and felt tip pens

Look at that profile! Mmmmmmm.

My mahoosive Moley Folio.

The renewed journaling has been a huge boon. I am a capitol J journaler and have been doing this meeting myself on the page thing since my late teens. I haven’t kept any of my journals ~ something about being terrified my kids will read them after I’m dead ~ which kind of sucks, but I plan to keep them from here on out. Watching Susannah show & tell her old diaries lit me up. I want that stack of life to leave behind as a kind of legacy. My kids can take them or leave them after I’m gone. I’m not afraid to be revealed through the pages of my journal anymore.

If I learned anything about anything over this past few weeks, it’s that being as honest as possible in all my affairs is absolutely crucial. I’m super good at being honest with people I love. SUPER good. But sometimes life gets so freaking scary that I stop being honest with myself, and the first hint of that is that I start skimping on the journaling.I start writing “I’m too busy for this” a lot, or scribbling down the barest hint of what’s actually happening. I don’t delve. I don’t breathe into the page. It’s one of those red flags, a ‘danger danger’ warning that I am learning to heed well.

Since I started the class, I spend more time writing, pen to page, than I have in *years*, and you know something? Instead of having less time, I seem to have more. It seems that this journaling thing means I am a little more efficient. I can sort through what really matters, what actually needs doing, and leave the rest shelved.

It’s great to be back in the Moley. Thanks, Susannah, for the inspiration.

***

This whole relationship trauma thing brought into sharp focus how important my business is to me right now. It is the only thing in my life that is wholly mine and I have been all head down in the trenches stressing myself out about making it work so I can rest assured that if something catastrophic happens, I will be okay.

My business is pissed at me about it. She told me this morning (in my journal, natch) that she’s tired of me flailing about and doing everything in fear. She wants passion and fun and candles lit and lip gloss. She wants the studio to be sacred space and exciting, and she wants a lovers touch and a lot of care instead of the flogging I’ve been giving her.

She’s crying foul about morale and how impossible it is to make beautiful, abundant things out of fear.

I signed on to Teach Now (thank you Danielle) and I’m very excited about the possibility that learning how to better care for my teacher self and my students will make a huge difference. This class has me bouncing (and bouncing is good). I am ready to get serious (with glitter, of course) and take this whole thing to the next level. I know that if I keep doing what I’m doing, I will go ‘splodey. I don’t live. I work. I just work. All. The time. And that needs to stop ~ not because I have an investment in balance, but because working to work sucks ass. I want to work AND live and have both be juicy, exciting, passion-inspired endeavours. I think Teach Now is going to help me with that. {aff link}

And I think that’s it for me for now. I will keep you posted as ever. :)

Effy

P.S. Sweetlings MINI is making a lot of people very, very happy. Maybe you’ll enjoy it too? Click here for deets. Use coupon code glitter and get $10 off.

NING Gives Me Lemons, I Make Lemonade

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Monday, March 11, 2013

NING creators will soon be asked to upgrade their sites from the current model to the new model. This would be fantastic news if the new model were any better for those of us who teach multiple on line classes, but here’s the truth:

NING 3.0 is not suited to teaching on line classes. It’s suited to magazine style social networking, but after spending the entire day trying to figure out how I’d host several different classes on one network, I threw my hands up in the air in frustration. It’s just not workable.

The only way I could see myself using NING for an on line class once the upgrade is done is if I used a new NING for every class, and that’s just not financially possible, especially when you consider that along with the upgrade comes a hefty hike in the price. What I’m currently paying $24.99 a month for would cost me $49.99/mth if I opted to upgrade. If my community continued to grow as it has been, it wouldn’t be long before I’d be looking at $100/mth.

You’d think I’d be weeping and gnashing my teeth, right? This could be a total buzz kill! This could be a DISASTER!

But, no. Because, here’s the thing.

My favourite classes to take are those hosted on private blogs with the addition of Facebook for community. Period. Susannah Conway, Misty Mawn, Flora Bowley, Kelly Rae Roberts ~ big names with successful teaching projects ~ all use this method of content delivery + communing.

The cost is minimal because all you have to worry about is your own self-hosted WordPress, (or, if you prefer Typepad or Squarespace accounts). Plugins exist that make life a lot easier, like Password Protect Plugin to create password protected classrooms on your own blog and Print Ready which allows the reader to create a PDF from each post. In other words:

No more tech nightmares when NING is updating their system. No more manually adding 200 people to a classroom and hoping I’ve got the right email address. No more hefty yearly bill. No more feeling like there’s too much space and I must FILL IT ALL WITH STUFF. No more writing a post AND a PDF for every single lesson.

Ease.

Financial ease, work flow ease, ease for the user, ease for the creator.

Say it with me. Eaaaaaaase…

***

I think The Universe is trying to tell me something. I spent last week and the week before in an angsty pile of goo over how little feedback I get on my free stuff. I get *way more comments* here on my blog than I do in the NING network that I’m paying an arm and a leg for. WAY more. I never feel meh about delivering content here because it’s easy, I can write it and set it to post when I want it to post. There’s no need for a password or username for the reader to access it (unless I want to post privately).

And…

Big scares me. The NING already has almost 1300 members, which is an awesome number if you’re into numbers. I’m just not into numbers. I’m into quality of participation. I’m into knowing the people I’m working alongside. It’s one thing to know 1300 people are reading my blog ~ that’s awesome! It’s another thing to feel like I have to produce content for 1300 people. That doesn’t feel very ease-ful. That feels like a lot of freaking pressure.

So, The Universe, upon figuring out that I was starting to freak out about size and content and feedback and quality vs. quantity said:

Frak NING. NING doesn’t work for you. You need smaller spaces for your classes, and you need a way to serve up good content to the masses without worrying about numbers.

Post free stuff on your blog. Post paid stuff in private sub-blogs that are easy to access, update and maintain.

***

I fought it a little bit. My favourite mixed media artist uses NING as her platform (Hello, Tam!) and she has great success with it. I have been happily plugging along behind her, looking up to her, learning from her about community building and management, marketing, teaching great classes, etc…

So I was kind of stuck on I GOTTA HAVE A NING!

But, no. I do not. I like small, intimate classes. I like Facebook for communing. If I’m being perfectly honest, when I take a class in a NING, I dash in, grab my stuff and dash right out again because. UGH. There’s too much in the average NING. It’s distracting as hell. It’s overwhelming.

***

My values include comfort and ease. I want comfort in my surroundings, even if they are ‘cyber’ surroundings, and I want ease. The best example of this kind of ease in content delivery in my experience has been a combination of newsletter delivered HEY YOUR STUFF IS UP along with a private blog where the content is stored. Facebook acts as a great gathering place where folks can upload photographs and share in a drive by or deeper way as they see fit.

Mailchimp, WordPress and Facebook.

Lemonade. Sweet, cold, easy, comfortable, non-overwhelming, financially doable lemonade.

Thanks, NING, for the push in the right direction.

Love,

Effy

P.S. Nothing is happening until July 1st when the next session of BOD2013 starts, so don’t panic, and know that I will keep you posted.

Effy Loves Monday ~ Week Ten ~ Vulnerability and Leadership

34 Replies

March 4, 2013

So, here’s the thing. I have a site called The Glitterhood (formerly Wild Soul Arts) which houses my paid classes as well as free stuff for anyone who’s into the mixed media art journaling thing to enjoy. I created the space because, yes, I wanted a permanent, relatively easy home to host my classes, but ALSO because I wanted to give away some stuff for free, and because I wanted to give people a place to share their own stuff. Their art journal spreads. Their videos. Their blog posts.

I made it, in short, for my tribe.

I did not think of this as an act of leadership. I thought of it a little like the baseball field in “Field of Dreams”. If you build it, they will come.

And they did.

But now?

Those who aren’t actually in my classes have no idea what to do there. It lacks purpose because all my leadership efforts are focused in my paid classes and not in the site in general.

*Epiphany*

Yes, I give of myself there. Every Monday, I post about my week in art. I share some musings about intentional creativity. I share resources that are rocking my socks. But it isn’t inviting. It’s just information, like a magazine. It doesn’t elicit any kind of two way response.

I yearn for conversation. I don’t want to be up on some pedestal where I write and share and folks feel there’s no room for THEM to write and share. That is the *exact* opposite of my intention.

***

There’s a lot of inner work going on for me right now.

First there was the whole “Give up your name or else” thing, which felt awful and scary and annoying as hell until I decided I just did NOT want to die on that mountain any time soon. I opted for the peaceful option, which was to change the name of my business from Wild Soul Arts (a name I *really really love*) to The Glitterhood (a really, really fun name that I also love.)

I desperately wanted to just make the change and move on, but the change shone a spotlight on what really wasn’t working in my on line community. It created an OPPORTUNITY to look more closely at whether or not the space is fulfilling my mission.

The first part of my mission (which was to create a permanent home for my on line classes) has been beautifully fulfilled. That aspect of things works and I love how easy it is (relatively) to maintain. Yes, there are hiccoughs with invitations not getting through or people getting lost in the site, but the MAJORITY of the time for the MAJORITY of the people who pay for my classes, this space works.

It’s some of what I’m offering for free that isn’t working. There’s something off with the format or the structure. It is all too one way ~ I talk, you listen. I write, you read. I art, you look. This is making me deeply unhappy because the second part of my mission is to CONNECT with folks whether they are paying clients or not. My mission includes providing easily accessible VALUE to those who can’t afford another class or who prefer to dip in and out without commitment.

I talked myself (for a little while) into ignoring the lack of conversation because this is ‘just marketing’. I told myself “be happy whether there’s participation or not because dude! People are signing up for your stuff! It’s all good! Huzzah!”

And it’s true that people have told me over and over again that they bought stuff from me based on the strength of my free stuff. That’s a powerful testament to the value of the free stuff.

But ‘marketing’ isn’t my purpose. I honestly couldn’t give a rats ass about marketing. It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with it ~ it’s just not my thing. It isn’t where my heart lives. My purpose is to connect. My purpose is to have conversations. My purpose is to facilitate empowerment and healing through art. My purpose is to align myself with the divine as I understand it and shine that as brightly as I can.

I’m not sure, at this point, how to make that happen, but it starts with simplifying some things, and I’ll be working on that this week.

***

I’ve been really struggling with discerning between wanting to create a sense of community (conversation) and seeking approval. Is wanting the two way conversation approval seeking? At first, I didn’t know because there was a small, bratty, miserable part of me that felt *rejected* because of the lack of conversation. There was a part of me that perceived the lack of participation in one group in particular (the one where I share my week in art and musings) as a failure to please and that triggered a whole history of needing to please, of wanting to be loved at all costs, of feeling *afraid* that failure would lead to suffering and pain and self-loathing.

It took a day to flail about with this because this is shit I’ve dealt with before. It takes a bit of getting quiet and listening to the inner voices to know what’s really going on. Wanting to do the very best FOR YOU is not approval seeking. It’s good leadership. Wanting to make something that works for my tribe is not whiny attention getting. It’s my *purpose*.

Over the years, I have become capable of sharing with you, my tribe, when I’m discouraged or feeling like a failure. Some folks insist that this is not business like or that a good leader must always be strong and together and up for whatever curveballs life throws her way. I used to ABJECTLY REFUSE to accept that I was any kind of leader. Even the word ‘teacher’ rankled my astral scrotum. I just wanted to be a girl who did what she does out loud.

But people who do what they do out loud are leaders. People who demonstrate, who share, who encourage are teachers.

If it walks like a duck…

So, yes. I’m a leader. But I’m also just a girl who does her stuff out loud and who is willing to dance with her shadow where other folks can watch.

My honesty about my stuff scandalizes some people, because they have this idea that I’m supposed to be their guru or their ‘fearless leader’ or some shining example of perfection.

I call bullshit.

We’re not about power over or being the best in this tribe. We’re about self-expression and creativity, and sometimes what we need to express is that things are hard, or that we’re feeling discouraged. Doing so means you can receive the support and encouragement of your people. Doing so means your people know that it’s okay to feel discouraged and ask for support. It isn’t weak. It is absolutely ballsy.

I’m absolutely ballsy.

So, this is me saying I’m discouraged because I want the answers right now about how to make this the absolute shining manifestation of my vision, and the answers are slow to come. I’m discouraged because my intentions and what I’m actually creating aren’t meeting in the middle.

I need to slow down. I need to get quiet. I need to figure out how best to serve my purpose without falling prey to all the marketing bullshit that’s going around out there. I need to stop worrying about how my wanting to serve you ‘seems’ or ‘looks’, and just get to the business of serving you. Time and noodling and exploring what will work will fix this.

And that’s what I’m fixing to do.

All my love,

Effy

P.S. While I’m figuring out how best to serve you, I would LOVE it with all my heart if you’d pop in here throughout the week and share your art (links if you’re on my blog or photographs if you’re in the network), your heart, your musings, your thoughts on what I wrote above, or about anything at all.

Talk to me.

Meanwhile, I had a very artful week and I’ll show you mine if you try to show me yours. xo

Monday

Wednesday

soulistry9

Friday

Arting on a manilla envelope

The Quit, The Journal, The Stencils, The Video

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I am here with a metric butt tonne of news for ya!

First off…..

I quit smoking. I’ve been on Zyban for two weeks now and finally felt ready last night at 8 p.m. So far, so good. I have cravings and I feel shaky, but I also feel determined. I don’t want to talk about it a whole lot for fear I’ll sabotage myself, but I am posting check ins on Facebook. :) In case you’re wondering, Manfingy is quitting, too, and he’s being uber awesome and supportive.

It was like Christmas here today what with the postman ringing not once but THRICE with deliveries. A couple of books I ordered from Chapters.Ca (research for an upcoming project), DVDs by Seth Apter, and OMG SQUEEEEEEEEEE….my Dylusions journal.

Open!

Closed!

I’m in love.

I love binding books ~ if you know me, you know this ~ but this might just become my go to journal from here on out, and I bought mine at Art Journal Lair.

In Other News

I’m really excited to participate in this awesome blog hop featuring stencils from Artistcellar, designed by Jill K. Berry. I am loving these stencils and I can’t wait until December 9th to show you what I do with ‘em. In the meantime, a whole slew of awesome artists are also participating! If you check ‘em out, you’ll have oodles of chances to win a set of Jill’s Texture stencils!