I'm going to blog for 30 days straight starting May 1st. No biggie. If you want to join me, please visit every day and pop your link in the comments.
So, yesterday started with me all gung ho to get started on the 30 paintings challenge. I did my usual morning thing (blogging, checking e-mail, journaling, etc.) and then sat down to get my art on. I made a total mess of things - working in a new size, on canvas, with way too much of a plan (I wanted to do a stylized floral). I didn't ask my spirit what it wanted to paint. I didn't do my usual 'before art' ritual (which includes lighting a candle, smudging my space, and lighting some incense as a way to enter a light trance state). I just dove in with some bouncy music blaring in the background. I hated what I made. It wasn't resonating. It felt off.
So, I grabbed a jar of absorbent ground and slathered it on there. While it was drying, I did my pre-art ritual, and then sat down to attend to my soul like I usually do.
This is what came out:
"In The Garden" - Mixed media on 6 x 8 canvas
I'm super happy with it. My crappy start was the perfect teaching moment for me. It taught me that no matter what kind of art I'm making, my routine, my self-created ritual, is important. Whatever I'm doing, my spirits wants in. It wants to be engaged.
AND! I got flowers out of it, so win!
In Other News
I went on a couple of dates over the last two weeks, more as a practice in badassery than anything else. I had two pretty disappointing experiences, and I realized after the second total fail that I *am* badass, but my badassery is better applied elsewhere right now. My intention was to open myself up to finding someone to pass time with now and then - nothing serious, nothing heavy - some fun, maybe some sex. My intentions were good, but I am definitely not ready to be 'putting myself out there'. It's crazy out there. Seriously. One guy did nothing but bitterly complain about his ex, and the other one remarked that his ex had a smoking body and could have been a stripper. While I had more fun with the second (we talked a lot), the whole "My ex is so hot" thing really turned me off.
So, yeah. Not interested in putting myself through that kind of thing for the time being.
I could have had gotten laid last night (it being Beltaine and all). Instead, I did this:
Cleaned, organized, ready for my work. Gah, it felt so damned good to get this done! After my first failed painting yesterday afternoon, the studio was a MESS, but now? It's pristine. Happy.
Today is for me
I have therapy at 1 (I go weekly because BATCRACKERS) and then coffee with a girlfriend, and then the rest of the day is for me. I will get my painting done - and having learned my lesson, I'm going to go in with no preconceived notions, no expectations. I'm going to let my soul sing in colour.
And you? How are you? Are you blogging along?
Go ahead and pop your link in the comments below.
Thank you for all your lovely comments on the nature of my personal writing. I really appreciate hearing that this way I have of blathering on transparently and vulnerably serves you. It makes me feel shiny. xo