Welcome to this week’s edition of Friday Five! Five things that are rocking my poptarts! Good things. Moving things. Things that restore my faith in humanity, or my faith in myself. Artsy things! Nerdy things! ALL THE LOVELY THINGS!* If you’d like to get Friday Five in your inbox, click here. If you’d like to get all my posts in your inbox, click here.
I spent last weekend in a little cottage by Lake Huron. It was cold, but we had a fire blazing in the wood stove the entire time. There were card games & onesies, painting with wee ones & wee walks, plantsicles & pancakes, and while I admit I found it overwhelming to be among humans for more than a few hours (I’ve grown very fond of my solitude over the last three years), I managed it well by sneaking off to sit by the lake alone now and then. I saw an eagle fly over. I saw Venus hanging in the sky like a jewel. I got snuggled, and I snuggled back. I had cottage coffee (coffee with Bailey’s Irish Cream), made for me & delivered to me IN BED. Do you have any idea how long its been since someone brought me coffee IN BED?
I’m going back tomorrow.
After the end of my marriage, I designed my life so I would always be busy doing something – mostly work related. I packed my schedule with lists to slay and ducks to line up in a row. I admit I became a bit rigid, and now I find that I need to rework it all so that I can make space for life outside these four walls, for new people, and new experiences, like impromptu trips to the cottage, and maybe even (eep!) sleepovers.
You guys know me. I’m a full-range woman. I’m all about being with what is, whatever it is, so I’m going to be honest with you; I’m faced with the possibility of a life I want, and this is a cause for optimism and joy, but I’m finding myself experiencing grief as well. If you’ve been reading me here for any length of time, you’ve witnessed how hard I worked to create *this* life, this little life that I made in this little third floor walk up, this life that saw me rise in the morning and fling myself headlong into work, this life that included days without leaving the house, without the need for pants, hours and hours of solitude broken only by visits planned well in advance or scheduled so that I was never left wondering ‘what am I going to do this week?’ I trust that, having witnessed this, you get why I might find it a bit bittersweet to let it go.
I created a sense of certainty for myself in response to the unbearable uncertainty I experienced after the end of my marriage. The certainty I created for myself left very little room for surprises, for impromptu *anything*. It was a kind of bondage that set me free from ennui & loneliness. It was comfortable. It was known.
I’m dismantling it now, bit by bit. Shifting things. Easing up. Letting myself be ever more flexible as I make space for something new to emerge. I’m aware of the joy – both present and potential, but I am also aware of the sorrow, the endings that must happen in order to let this new life bloom.
I’m exploring this in my art journal. How to make space. How to soften so the rigid scheduling and list slaying can make way for other things. How to close the doors that need closing, and fling open the ones that need opening.
It’s all good, even when it hurts.
My lesson in Life Book 2017 went live on Monday, and I am happily watching patchwork trees spring up all over the place, creating a gorgeous grove! It’s not too late to join in, and if you find yourself wondering if you’ll ever have time, just do what I do: save the lessons to your hard drive so you can dip in and out at will. Find out more here.
When my studio looks like this, it means I’ve been in the flow for days. It means I’ve been smashing stuff into my Sweet Trash Journal, playing around in my MiniMoleyDaily, teaching in my Book of Days. It means I’ve got ink under my fingernails and gesso in my hair. It means I probably forgot to eat lunch. It means I’m fired up. I can’t tell you how satisfying this kind of chaos is, or how satisfying it is to sort it all out when I’ve spilled myself out all over the page.
Date night. Because, seriously.
And that’s it for me for this week’s edition of Friday Five!