Some of us are more resilient than others, and I’m not entirely sure why that is in a general sense, but I do know that a great deal of my resilience comes from my ability to fling glitter in the trenches.
Flinging glitter, for me, is a metaphor for the things we do to beautify our lives and the lives of those around us. When shit gets real, when the world is going to hell in a hand basket, when my life feels overwhelmingly difficult, I go looking for what’s *right*, or I create something that’s *right*. I look for the places where I can get myself in gear, get some kind of forward motion going. I like to think of this as ‘moving in the direction of my prayers’, though from the outside looking in it may look more like ‘faking it ’till I make it.’ And sometimes, it looks like sitting on the couch with my hand in a bag of cheesies and my finger on the remote while I watch crap on Netflix.
Either way. I don’t deny the overwhelming sorrow, or the fear, or the frustration. I nod at it, give it a ‘yup, I see you there….’ and then I go do whatever I can do.
Paint.
Do the dishes.
Light the candles. Pray the prayers. Cook the meals.
These are small acts of rebellion against whatever feels daunting, and I believe that this is how shit gets done. Life sucks? Feel that. Be with that. And then do something to make it better. Something’s broken that can’t be fixed? Find something that can be fixed and go fix that. Chop wood. Carry water. Whatever else is going on, *life* goes on, and I have learned how to roll with it instead of getting rolled over.
This is not always easy, and I’m not suggesting that we just spiritually bypass everything away with a ‘love and light’ attitude. I’m saying that it is true what they say: when the going gets tough, the tough fling glitter!
I’m paraphrasing, but I’m pretty sure you know what I mean.
***
I’ve seen my share of trauma, both personal and global, and the one thing that it always seems to stir up in me is a kind of joy warrior-ship. I think of Klinger, in MASH, and how his shenanigans seemed to make things just a bit more bearable. There was no denying how horrific their situation was, but still. There was Klinger, in the trenches, adjusting his silk stockings and matching his hat to his shoes. Something about that resonates with me, and even though he was a kind of accidental joy warrior (he did the dressing up thing in an attempt to get ‘sectioned out’ of the war), he still sprinkled that shit everywhere, and so do I.
It can be so hard to enjoy your life while all of *waves at all of this* is going on. The politics, the social justice break downs, the hurricanes, the fires…people are in pain, people are dying…and yet, the only thing I know how to do in the face of all this is to rage against despair with my joy. I know it doesn’t serve anyone to let things that are completely outside of my control dictate how I’m going to feel at any given moment. I know that my wandering around holding my guts in all day doesn’t get shit done.
Here’s what I believe:
You can hold space within yourself for all the things. You are enormous. You contain multitudes. You can be confounded and frustrated and angry and dance in the kitchen while you’re doing the dishes. You can feel *with* a world in pain, and also feel *with* yourself & others in joy. I think that’s magicks. I think, when we acknowledge what’s wrong, and we do what we can to fix it, we have to, for the sake of our own sanity, turn to the thing that’s right, or create a right thing. Add our joy to the collective. Add our shenanigans to the gloom and doom. Add our laughter. Add our love.
When in doubt, fling glitter.
xo
Effy
Today’s Nudge: What do you do to foster joy? What’s your version of ‘flinging glitter in the trenches?”
There’s a bunch of us blogging along in September. Find out more here, or pop your email address in the box below, and I’ll send you a nudge to blog every day along with a link to my daily writings.
beautiful, effy. thank you for your words of effy wisdom.
<3 <3 <3
Can I marry you please?
Absolutely. :D
Did you write this for me? :) xoox
It was definitely inspired by your query on social media, love. <3 I hope you don’t mind.
I love you dearly.
“Rage against despair with my joy”…yes, indeed!
It reminds me of this poem by Jack Gilbert:
Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
are not starving someplace, they are starving
somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that’s what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
at the fountain are laughing together between
the suffering they have known and the awfulness
in their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
in the village is very sick. There is laughter
every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta,
and the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at the prow again of a small ship
anchored late at night in the tiny port
looking over to the sleeping island: the waterfront
is three shuttered cafés and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
all the years of sorrow that are to come.
Oh, yes. All of that. <3
Thank you for this Effy. You have no idea how much I needed this today…
I’m so glad you found what you needed. <3
I love Klinger and MASH, I must have watched every episode at some point in my younger years. Funny thing, I my brain kept processing it as Kligon LOL
*flings glitter* for anyone who might need it today.
Funny thing about glitter, once it’s flung, you find it years later in the strangest places. It seems to have a life of its own. 😇
Oh Effy Honey, I don’t know HOW you do it — you are magic of course! — but every single day when I come here to read your post it contains EXACTLY what I need to get through the day. This one, like all the others, came at just the right time and helped me SO much. And I SO enjoyed the virtual glitter, (I prefer mine virtual! Love the glitter, hate the cleanup. Herpes indeed!) it was just what I needed today. I’m sharing this one on my Facebook page! More people need to READ this!!! There are so many hard things going on right now for so many of us, we all need the lift that you give us each day. Bless you honey, I’m sending so much love… <3
P.S. I really hope you’ll write a book some day honey. I think I’d be carrying it around like Linus clings to his blanket! :)
Effy, this is one of your absolute best! Great wisdom: hard to live, but necessary. We shall all carry on. . .
“Today’s Nudge: What do you do to foster joy? What’s your version of ‘flinging glitter in the trenches?” My version = music, Gayatri Mantra and anything by Anugama, thanks to you, Effy, and reading blog posts just like this one. Why not put them in their own book? Your writing resonates!
I ❤️ this so much. Reminds me of my dad. He adored Mash!!