Once upon a time, I tried to get a community project going called “Sunday Swoon”. It was meant to be a showcase of the things that made us super chuffed and proud. Once a week, show off your shiny.
It didn’t land. At the time, I didn’t get why, but I think I’ve figured it out.
We are not accustomed to, nor really ever encouraged to toot our own horns. If we do say “I’m proud of this”, there is probably a little voice in our heads (mine sounds like my mother) saying “You’re getting too big for your britches.”
If we do exclaim about something we did that rocks, we are prone to minimizing it. “I made this, but it sucks.” or “I did this thing, but it’s no big deal.” You know this is true. You’ve done this yourself. I know you have.
On Fridays, when I’m not hosting a blog along, I do something called “Friday Five”. It is a curated collection of things that are delighting me. Sometimes I include *my own things* in that list, because some of the things I do delight me. But. I will often find myself feeling a little touch uncomfortable about it. Like, I can brag, but only so much before my conditioning kicks in.
I am very interested in shame busting (my own, and yours) & make a practice of being as puffed up and proud as I am *entitled to be*. It’s part of my recovery from childhood abuse, and low self-esteem. It might seem like I’m arrogant or full of ego, but this is actually an antidote to the opposite issue. I, like many survivours of child abuse, have a core of self-loathing that is very difficult to identify and root out.
So, I’m going to bring back Sunday Swoon. Even if no one ever participates. Because, listen. We deserve our own props. We have earned the right to say “I’m proud of this thing. I did this thing I love. I am awesome.” I know I’ve earned that right. And doing it, out loud, in a very sort of public way is very healing & revealing. What am I tempted to brag about in a *falsely humble way*? How can I nip that in the bud. What am I disclaiming or minimizing? How can I just say “I rocked this” without being overwhelmed with the ‘who do you think you are’ voices in my head.
I did a lot of work on this in a session of Seven Sins with Renee Magnusson. I got stuck on one of the sins (wrath, that tricksy sin!), so I’ll be repeating it in the next round. The tour starts with pride, and the work I did in that one section of this seven section tour was *incredibly revealing*. I used to disclaim so much, you know? People would say I was so strong, and I’d say “well, I had no choice.” Yeah, I did. I totally did. I *am* strong, so now when someone says “You’re so strong!” I say *THANK YOU*. Period. End of.
Anyway, you might want to look at the tour if you feel called to root out some of the ways you deny yourself the right to *exist* on the planet.
In celebration of my newfound love of being prideful as fuck, I am going to dust off this pretty graphic, and I’m going to swoon *over myself*. I invite you to do the same. Every Sunday. Share something (either in your own spaces, or here in the comments, if that feels safer) that you did that you are happy about, proud of, impressed with, etc.
This Sunday’s Shiny
I made this. Isn’t it gorgeous?
See? It’s that easy.
Today’s Nudge: Show off without apologizing.
Optional nudge: Start a blog series that you can commit to updating regularly that will help you build your community.
There’s a bunch of us blogging along in September. Find out more here, or pop your email address in the box below, and I’ll send you a nudge to blog every day along with a link to my daily writings.
P.S. LIFE BOOK 2018 is open for registration, y’all! Early Bird ends December 31st, so get it while you can!