I. I missed blogging yesterday due to the brain fog that comes from sleep deprivation. It just completely slipped my mind. This provides me with a really lovely opportunity for self-compassion. Missing a day does not a failure make. Missing a day and then giving up altogether – that’s a failure. So, yes. I missed a day, but here I am, winning.
II. I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off to get everything done in time for this afternoon, when my people will descend upon my humble abode to hang out with me. There will be bralessness, Chardonnay, Caesars, and tipsy Jenga, because that is a thing I deeply enjoy.
III.I can’t even begin to tell you how active my imagination has been lately, and how many brain gremlins I’ve had to wrangle. Two sleepless nights. Wicked weird and bad dreams. On a constant edge. I know from whence it all stems, and I am tending to it all as best I can, but I would deeply love a break from it all, and I am hoping this weekend provides me with that.
IV. Two days with my love should fix me right up. I have finally accepted that he’s a needful thing. All this ‘want’ vs. ‘need’ inner dialogue can suck it. Need is human, and I’ll allow it. Especially when it is simply *what is true*.
V. Finished this beauty just in time for Full Willow Moon in Libra. We do two paintings a month in Moonshine – one time lapsed, and one full length. This was full length, and in it, I covered layering watercolours with acrylics, creating simple iconic portraits, and ‘three colour shading’. It was deeply satisfying.
VI. Tam has brought back the coupon code LOVEBOMB2019 for 20% off of Life Book 2019, which will be going into its second session shortly. If you missed the discount the first time around, this is a great time to grab it!
VII. I started my week by strapping on my brand new roller skates (they’re super cute and sparkly), standing up in them and then immediately flying – legs out from underneath me, arms flailing wildly – and crashing to the floor. I have been in pretty severe pain ever since. Sitting is no fun. Standing is no fun. Bending is no fun. Sleeping is no fun. I also skinned and bruised my elbow quite badly.
Being in any kind of pain is triggering for me, so this explains a lot of the wobbly brain gremlins and weirdness that I’ve been experiencing this past week. I am trying to practice self-empathy, but my immediate thought was “YOU FUCKING IDIOT”. My son came over, though, and reminded me that what I am is ADVENTUROUS and that I know to go easy now. Sweet kid.
Still. I will not put them on again until I have some kind of protective gear because, apparently, my centre of gravity has shifted since I last strapped skates on my feet.
ARE THEY NOT EPIC?
VIII. A goodly chunk of my family are coming over for dinner on Sunday, and that includes the Bean, who we will pass around like a football between bites of whatever I make for dinner. I *can’t wait*.
Some time and distance has allowed my little family to heal up some, and that has meant more time with my delicious little slice of heaven. This little Bean deserves as many people in his life that love him and delight in him as possible, and I happen to be his number one fan, so I’m grateful to have the opportunity to love the dickens out of him whenever I can.
IX. I drew The Hanged Man today and snort laughed at my cards. “Don’t you think I’ve sacrificed enough already, you tyrants, you?” Apparently, the answer is ‘no’.
X. That’s today, loves. I have a list the length of my arm to slay, so off I go to slay it.
See you tomorrow.