I. You might remember my saying a few days ago that I had this in the works as bonus content for my peeps in Patreon & Effy365. I’ve finished filming it and it’s going up on Sunday, May 12th as a kind of “Mother’s Day” present for all of you who nurture life in whatever way you do. It was super fun to make, and the tutorial will come with 40 minutes of video. Just long enough to teach you, but short enough that you can watch, and then go off and create your own luscious bouquet. I hope you like it.
II. I had an ‘I feel pretty’ moment the other day, so I took a selfie and posted it on Facebook. It was good for my soul, because the news that I have cataracts made me feel kind of old and brought me face to face with a bunch of underlying stuff I’ve got going on about aging (like the whiskers growing out of my chin, and the fact that I haven’t had a period since December).
I’m aging. I totally thought I was cool with this given how thrilled I’ve been with my delicious crows feet, and the way my wisdom glitter is coming in…but I realize that the stuff I have around aging isn’t about my appearance. I think aged women are beautiful, and I am aging beautifully in that regard.
What I’m grappling with, it turns out, is mortality. My body is showing the usual signs of wear and I feel a little bit like I’m just getting started in the living, loving, laughing department, so I admit to have some resentment about it.
It’s also making me think long and hard about the things I do that contribute to my less than stellar health – the sedentary nature of my lifestyle, the smoking, the drinking…
Being happy has had the unexpected side effect of making me want to live to be 120.
A thousand years beside him wouldn’t be enough, and right now I’m looking at maybe 30 if I’m really careful and lucky.
Speaking of 42, this one’s for him, because reason.
IV. This went up in A Year Of Rumi a day early because I’m bad ass like that.
V. I’ve spent a fair bit of time over the last 72 hours counselling one of my kids through a pretty devastating break up. There’s a child involved, too, so the heartache is compounded by all the questions we all have around how things are going to be for the little one. My kid is navigating all of this with grace, grit, and maturity, and his siblings and I are all circling him like he’s a bear cub and we’re fearsome.
I believe it’s going to be okay, but I wouldn’t say no to a little healing mojo being thrown his way if you don’t mind.
VI. This family crisis came in the middle of some omgdoom at work in terms of needing to get things done for things that I was feeling behind on. I am happy to report that I managed to carve myself an ACTUAL WEEKEND OFF – Friday & Saturday, at least. I will need to work on Sunday. I got up at six this morning in order to make this happen, and I am super chuffed with myself.
My son watched me fly through the list today and said “I wish I was a go getter like you…”
I felt seen. I am a go getter, and I believe he will be, too, once he heals up and recognizes the value of getting up and going.
VII. I’m feeling very affirmed lately by my people, including my students, who are all expressing appreciation for my way of being in the world. I just want to take a moment to thank you for that, because I grew up without any kind of affirmation and spend most of my adult life feeling ‘less than’. It is nice to feel that turning around.
VIII. The Ever After Giveaway contest ends tonight at midnight. Go get it. I’ll announce the winner on May 10th. That’s TOMORROW.
IX. I have therapy today at noon, and then Bean is coming over for a few hours. I am deeply grateful to be getting in some Bean time. Deeply. Grateful. While he’s here (his dad will be here, too), I am going to get a big pot of beef stew started since there are so many people hanging out this weekend. My love tomorrow, my kids on Sunday & Monday. I’m hoping to get some solo time in on Saturday, but I have to go to Costco at some point to do my contacts fitting, so yanno. Probably not gonna happen.
X. This song today, dedicated to the one and only Kidlet, because reasons.