I. Kimi came over yesterday at 12 to fix my boo boo. She brought repair salve and bandaids. Her daughter, Jade, packed me up a little ‘get better soon’ baggie full of her favourite tea and a drawing she made. The sweetness! Unbearable and gratefully received.
II. We ended up back on the front lawn with the pack from next door, and made even more new friends than we have already. It was a fun way to spend an afternoon.
I finally packed it in at 4 p.m. to soak in the tub and get some solitude in. I had a little nap, then got up to eat and watch a few videos on a thing I’m interested in right now. Did some inner work. Crawled into bed for an episode of Alone: Tales From The Artic, and turned in at 11.
III.You can be aware that acceptance is where you want to go, and you can know that as soon as you get there, things will ease, but you can’t *force* acceptance. You have to tame it, a little like a squirrel, and you’re probably going to get the same dance out of it – two steps forward, five steps back. Berating yourself because you haven’t attained the holy grail of acceptance yet is just dumb, and really unkind, and not recommended.
IV. I’ve been here before. Let’s just pray together that it doesn’t take me *five fucking years* to reach acceptance, though, okay? Because I don’t think I have that in me.
V. I’m not sure acceptance means ‘giving up’ though. There is no part of me that is ready to ‘give up’. I think it means something more like ‘abiding’. I’m going to live my life, do my work, have as much fun as I can, and let whatever is meant to come my way, come my way. This or something better. I’m open to it.
VI. Today, we Journal Jam. For those of you who are new to me, some Mondays I hop on to Vimeo Live and I create a spread from scratch by following prompts I draw from my Journal Jam prompt deck. We always end up with something I like, and sometimes we end up with some deep insight. Feel free to join me if you like. The link to the replay goes up in The Wilderhood as soon as it’s done compression. If you’re in BOD2020 or a patron on Patreon, you get the edited versions as well.
VII. I updated WordPress and then my database needed updating and now I can’t upload media or edit the html, which is a drag. I will have to contact my WP pamperer and I’m sure he’ll be JUST THRILLED TO HEAR that I broke my install. Ugh. I’M SORRY NATHAN PLEASE FORGIVE ME. UPDATE: He fixed it and has revoked my ‘pushing tempting buttons privileges. THANK YOU NATHAN!
VIII. I bought myself a bottle of bubbles and I keep them on my painty table and this feels like incredible self-care. When I start to spin (and I’m spinning a lot lately), I grab them and blow my troubles into them and let them drift away. Magic doesn’t have to be complicated. It really can be as simple as blowing a few bubbles.
Now if only I could blow away the housework. My studio is a disaster.
IX. This song.
X. Still. xo
XI. Lights will guide you home.
Let whatever come your way. I like that
Alot.
Yeah, I like it, too. <3
So happy to see things going along so well!! Hugs!! ;)
Thanks, lovely. <3
love the bubble idea……………
It’s astonishing how quickly it calms me and gets me dropped into the present moment.
nope, won’t take 5 years….we who do our inner work find our recovery time takes shorter and shorter with our spiraling down cuz we have developed more internal resources, self care, and just plain wisdom. You are already filling your day with love.
I am definitely doing my best. Love and bubbles. <3
I’ve learned that, for me, acceptance doesn’t mean I have to like it, it just is and I say fine, be that way then I got other stuff I gotta do. Some days it works, others, well, y’know. ;) yes to bubbles and garden parties and watching videos about stuff you’re interested in. I almost made it to Journal Jam today but then didn’t. Getting there. All the love. xo
All the love back. <3
A little like a squirrel. Yes. That.
ps – it won’t take 5 years. xx
From your mouth to goddesses ears.
I am glad you are filling your day with love, lawn parties and journaling. Staying positive and looking forward to what you have is one of the keys to acceptance. I know this from experience.
I had a major stroke and wasn’t suppose to survive and they told my husband that if I did survive the coma, I would be totally helpless and he needed to find me a nursing home. 3 weeks later I was walking on my own with a cane and the only remaining major effects (after 14 years) is my right hand that does’t work properly. I remember accepting my limitations within a fairly short period of time (a few months) because I knew for me, everyday was a gift.
On a side note, my only concern is that you all are together without masks on.
You are a warrior. <3
Also, we're in Canada, in phase three, and outdoor gatherings without masks are fine. We distance on the lawn. <3 There is no hugging, handshaking or proximity with those who aren't in our bubble, we wear masks in public indoor spaces, etc. xo