I. Kimi came over yesterday at 12 to fix my boo boo. She brought repair salve and bandaids. Her daughter, Jade, packed me up a little ‘get better soon’ baggie full of her favourite tea and a drawing she made. The sweetness! Unbearable and gratefully received.
II. We ended up back on the front lawn with the pack from next door, and made even more new friends than we have already. It was a fun way to spend an afternoon.
I finally packed it in at 4 p.m. to soak in the tub and get some solitude in. I had a little nap, then got up to eat and watch a few videos on a thing I’m interested in right now. Did some inner work. Crawled into bed for an episode of Alone: Tales From The Artic, and turned in at 11.
III.You can be aware that acceptance is where you want to go, and you can know that as soon as you get there, things will ease, but you can’t *force* acceptance. You have to tame it, a little like a squirrel, and you’re probably going to get the same dance out of it – two steps forward, five steps back. Berating yourself because you haven’t attained the holy grail of acceptance yet is just dumb, and really unkind, and not recommended.
IV. I’ve been here before. Let’s just pray together that it doesn’t take me *five fucking years* to reach acceptance, though, okay? Because I don’t think I have that in me.
V. I’m not sure acceptance means ‘giving up’ though. There is no part of me that is ready to ‘give up’. I think it means something more like ‘abiding’. I’m going to live my life, do my work, have as much fun as I can, and let whatever is meant to come my way, come my way. This or something better. I’m open to it.
VI. Today, we Journal Jam. For those of you who are new to me, some Mondays I hop on to Vimeo Live and I create a spread from scratch by following prompts I draw from my Journal Jam prompt deck. We always end up with something I like, and sometimes we end up with some deep insight. Feel free to join me if you like. The link to the replay goes up in The Wilderhood as soon as it’s done compression. If you’re in BOD2020 or a patron on Patreon, you get the edited versions as well.
VII. I updated WordPress and then my database needed updating and now I can’t upload media or edit the html, which is a drag. I will have to contact my WP pamperer and I’m sure he’ll be JUST THRILLED TO HEAR that I broke my install. Ugh. I’M SORRY NATHAN PLEASE FORGIVE ME. UPDATE: He fixed it and has revoked my ‘pushing tempting buttons privileges. THANK YOU NATHAN!
VIII. I bought myself a bottle of bubbles and I keep them on my painty table and this feels like incredible self-care. When I start to spin (and I’m spinning a lot lately), I grab them and blow my troubles into them and let them drift away. Magic doesn’t have to be complicated. It really can be as simple as blowing a few bubbles.
Now if only I could blow away the housework. My studio is a disaster.
IX. This song.
X. Still. xo
XI. Lights will guide you home.