I. It’s freezing in here this morning so I bumped up the heat a bit, poured up a coffee, and crawled back into bed with my laptop. It’s a slow day today since I put the replay of yesterday’s Jam up already so there’s nothing to do but putter around with graphics for BOD2021, which I can definitely do from the cosy nest that is my divan.

II. The Jam was fabulous yesterday.

These lip up girls are life and I absolutely love teaching them.

This little birby is not fucking around. She has things to say, that’s for sure.

You can access Journal Jam replays under ‘files’ in The Wilderhood Facebook Group. Jam #6 includes instructions on making your own jam deck.

III. Facebook Memories are a bit of a double-edged sword right now. On the one hand, they validate *why* I’m grieving. There was so much good in *waves at all of that*. On the other hand, they validate why I’m grieving. The loss of all that good is a very real blow.

Butandalso

The good ebbed, and I have to remember that, too, so I don’t *just* focus on the good that was lost.

It’s time to stop wondering why. It’s time to stop looking for secret messages. It’s time to let the silence be all the closure I need. It’s time to accept that if he wanted me, he’d come for me. It’s time to acknowledge that this was over a long time ago. I was just the last to know.

It’s time to stop looking back.

This is the way. 

IV. Kimi, Alli, her lovely human, and I all got together in a socially distanced way around a fire on November 1st and it was everything I needed. It was snowy and blustery and really chilly, but we are hardcore so we bundled up and sucked it up and had a really good time.

This little fire bowl is probably the best purchase I’ve made in a very long time. We have it set up so there’s a shelter over our heads and a wind block on three sides so it really is quite cosy, but there’s enough distance between us all that we can feel safe.

Alli made chili and it was *amazing*. There’s something about eating a bowl of chili by a fire that feels absolutely medicinal and perfect.

V. I figured out why I was procrastinating on opening my programs, and it should come as no shock to you that once I understood the thing, I was able to light a fire under my own ass and start putting all of that stuff together and out there so I can pay my rent next year. Moonshine is open for registration! There are two version this year – the intensive, and the ‘lite’ version. Both are fab. Pick your poison. 

You can also get Moonshine 2021: The Cafe version over on Patreon along with the upcoming A Year Of Mary (Mary Oliver poems + mixed media art journaling).

VI. Pride. 

VII. I forgot that today was garbage day, though, so *ugh*

VIII. Road trip with Kimi today to go get scripts filled, but not ’till around 1 p.m. or so, so I have plenty of time to enjoy my coffee before I have to put on pants. The snow we got over the weekend has melted, and it’s going to be about 10 Celsius today (which is considered ‘nice enough’ in Canada in November), so it’s going to be a good day for a drive. We’re going to stop in on Sal for a porch visit as well, so I’m really looking forward to it, and to having a day out of the house and away from the socials.

IX. Election Day. All the anxiety. I know I’m Canadian, but all of *waves at all of that down there* impacts us here, too, so I’m feeling it, and wishing all of my loves in the U.S. all the lucks and a clear direction forward that serves humanity.

X. I’m doing an eleven day releasing spell in my art journal. I prepared the underpainting on Sunday and have been adding a pomegranate a day. It feels good. Concentrated effort. My energy as an offering. I will fix the shit that needs fixing *for me* because that is the clear direction I got over Samhain, and I am listening.

This is the way.

That doesn’t mean I won’t dance with it. That doesn’t mean I won’t have days when I’m not convinced. That doesn’t mean my resolve is nailed down. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to grapple.

But I’m trying.

And this is the way. 

 

 

 

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