I. I am okay. New Year’s was what it was. I spent some time with peeps over Zoom. I watched The Last Alaskans. I couldn’t sleep because of all the feels, but I *did not cry* – have not cried in days – and I even managed to get up and get all the programs launched for 2021.

I’m saving my tears for the worthy. 

II. I am a badass.

III. That feeling when every time you open the fridge, you are reminded that you should have cleaned out the fridge weeks ago. Garbage day isn’t ’till Tuesday. I am so fucking tired.

IV. There is a long hot soak in my future. Also lasagna.

V. We’re going to be okay.

VI. Hope is a dangerous thing for a girl like me butandalso hopelessness is even more dangerous.

VII. Everyone I love is experiencing shit mental health and I am so full of grace over it. We’re all a little COVID crazy right now, and *that is fucking okay*.

VIII. Treading everywhere with equal measures of trepidation and kindness.

IX. I usually do a month in review AND a year in review at the end of December but fuck that. No. I don’t want to, so I’m not going to. December was great, work-wise. I managed to keep it together. The programs are all open and full and gorgeous and awesome. I’ve made some changes this month that will see me through 2021 – like hiring a house-elf to help with all the things I find too daunting to do. Like getting a better office chair. Slow, gentle shifts in the right direction. I’m not out of the woods, but I’m getting there. Therapy resumes on the 7th. I will probably start the first session with something like “what is life anymore anyway? what is time? why are people? wtf?”


X. Hello 2021. Be careful how you bend me. 

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