I. I am okay. New Year’s was what it was. I spent some time with peeps over Zoom. I watched The Last Alaskans. I couldn’t sleep because of all the feels, but I *did not cry* – have not cried in days – and I even managed to get up and get all the programs launched for 2021.
I’m saving my tears for the worthy.
II. I am a badass.
III. That feeling when every time you open the fridge, you are reminded that you should have cleaned out the fridge weeks ago. Garbage day isn’t ’till Tuesday. I am so fucking tired.
IV. There is a long hot soak in my future. Also lasagna.
V. We’re going to be okay.
VI. Hope is a dangerous thing for a girl like me butandalso hopelessness is even more dangerous.
VII. Everyone I love is experiencing shit mental health and I am so full of grace over it. We’re all a little COVID crazy right now, and *that is fucking okay*.
VIII. Treading everywhere with equal measures of trepidation and kindness.
IX. I usually do a month in review AND a year in review at the end of December but fuck that. No. I don’t want to, so I’m not going to. December was great, work-wise. I managed to keep it together. The programs are all open and full and gorgeous and awesome. I’ve made some changes this month that will see me through 2021 – like hiring a house-elf to help with all the things I find too daunting to do. Like getting a better office chair. Slow, gentle shifts in the right direction. I’m not out of the woods, but I’m getting there. Therapy resumes on the 7th. I will probably start the first session with something like “what is life anymore anyway? what is time? why are people? wtf?”
Heh.
X. Hello 2021. Be careful how you bend me.
I am so absolutely NOT doing a year-end review. I’ve never been a fan and, honestly, despite there being some very good things coming out of 2020, I vehemently do NOT want to rake up the steaming compost that was the overall Mood of 2020. So there’s that. Let sleeping dogs lie or somesuch.
Can i say how deliriously happy I am to be moonshining with you? It find it all a bit overwhelming on the Facebooks, but I’m there, sitting at the front of the class, clutching my journal to my bosom and beaming at you like an oaf. Also, there’s an apple on your desk. ;)
all the love and magic to you….I’m so glad you’re here and even more glad that you’re looking after yourself. You deserve it. xoxo
Love and magic to you, too, babe. <3
“I’m saving my tears for the worthy” – ooof. I needed this.
Yes.
Dearest Effy, You don’t know me at all…. but I needed to say this to you! You are a such a beautiful being. Your ability to be vulnerable, open hearted and share yourself is awe inspiring. The world is a hard place at the best of times, but I know that you’ve got this. Every time I read your writing, my heart breaks open just a little more, I find a new place to let the light in. Thank you for being you! Thank you for sharing yourself so vividly with the rest of us. You touch places that few others are able to. I am holding you in the heart of hearts and praying too, the 2021 treats you gently and bends you in just the right places. With deepest admiration!
Cheryl
What a lovely note. <3 And yes. May 2021 be kinder.
When I was going through my horrendous time, I was out shopping with a friend. We went into this little boutique where I found a cute dress. I went to purchase it and I saw this necklace that said “badass” in beautiful script. I bought it as well. I wore that necklace daily for over a year. It was my constant reminder that I am a badass and because of my badassery, I was going to make it through and be better than okay. Let me just say, I’m so happy that I found you. Moonshine Coven has me stoked in a way that I’ve not been in a VERY long time.
Remembering our bad assery can get us through some very hard times, indeed. <3