I. I am okay. New Year’s was what it was. I spent some time with peeps over Zoom. I watched The Last Alaskans. I couldn’t sleep because of all the feels, but I *did not cry* – have not cried in days – and I even managed to get up and get all the programs launched for 2021.

I’m saving my tears for the worthy. 

II. I am a badass.

III. That feeling when every time you open the fridge, you are reminded that you should have cleaned out the fridge weeks ago. Garbage day isn’t ’till Tuesday. I am so fucking tired.

IV. There is a long hot soak in my future. Also lasagna.

V. We’re going to be okay.

VI. Hope is a dangerous thing for a girl like me butandalso hopelessness is even more dangerous.

VII. Everyone I love is experiencing shit mental health and I am so full of grace over it. We’re all a little COVID crazy right now, and *that is fucking okay*.

VIII. Treading everywhere with equal measures of trepidation and kindness.

IX. I usually do a month in review AND a year in review at the end of December but fuck that. No. I don’t want to, so I’m not going to. December was great, work-wise. I managed to keep it together. The programs are all open and full and gorgeous and awesome. I’ve made some changes this month that will see me through 2021 – like hiring a house-elf to help with all the things I find too daunting to do. Like getting a better office chair. Slow, gentle shifts in the right direction. I’m not out of the woods, but I’m getting there. Therapy resumes on the 7th. I will probably start the first session with something like “what is life anymore anyway? what is time? why are people? wtf?”

Heh.

X. Hello 2021. Be careful how you bend me. 

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