I. I woke up this morning and got up to make coffee – naked. This has not happened since I moved out of my three-story walk-up in December 2019. When I moved in with GG, I started wearing clothing at all times, even to bed, because living with one’s adult child will do that. When I moved into this little cocoon of mine in July of 2020, I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown (not kidding) and I had zero sense of safety. In my first few weeks here, we had a smash and grab of all the cars in our parking lot, 42’s truck was broken into and robbed, and a guy sexually accosted me on my front lawn at 10 p.m while I was reading a book on my iPad.
II. I had buyer’s remorse pretty bad after that experience, let me tell you. I was like WHAT HAVE I DONE WHERE AM I LIVING?
III. That night, I circumnavigated the entire house with a box of sea salt and a witch’s heart, muttering a protection spell under my breath like some kind of madwoman. I put salt on all the windowsills. I anointed my front door with oil and protective sigils, and I threw myself into bed and burrowed with my head under the covers.
IV. All has been well ever since, and this morning I leapt out of bed and made coffee, naked. Fed and watered the animals. Received their enthusiastic exhortations of love and devotion. Gave all the morning pets and allowed the morning head butts. Poured up my first cup and crawled back into bed to reply to comments on yesterday’s post and do my “blogger rounds” for the blog along. Naked.
V. I threw on a maxi dress just before I popped in here to blog because I was feeling a bit chilly – not because I was feeling unsafe or exposed or vulnerable.
VI. I’m home.
VII. Yesterday was awesome. I got a metric fuck tonne of stuff done in preparation for month-end, which I have almost finished putting together. I had chicken roti for brunch. Delicious! I got Journal Jam all edited and put up in all the places the replays go up and made the announcements to that effect in all the places those announcements needed to be made. I checked in with GG and my other loves. I played Words with Friends. I binge-listened to Love & Light Confessionals (sooooooooo gooooooooood) and got caught up on the news (soooooooo depressing). At six, I ordered a sharkcoot & a mess of fresh made tortilla chips and four different dips (the guac was TO DIE FOR), and a bottle of rose. Kimi and The Viking showed up at seven for a nibble and a couple of episodes of New Amsterdam. The dogs were in heaven.
VIII. Kimi wandered home to her kidlet at 9 and The Viking and I watched an episode of Sense8 before I sent him off home so I could watch the news and settle into bed.
I slept beautifully. Something about those hugs that last more than 20 seconds settled my nervous system right down in a way nothing else can.
IX. Today is for finishing up month-end entirely. I’m going to slay the list so I can get everything up in time for May 1st and then collapse in a heap of frolic and shenanigans (which looks like a fire at Kimi’s place, some special chocolates, and a Wardruna listening party). There may be pictures.
X. We are still in lockdown, but we are measuring the risks against our mental health. We haven’t had a fire since October. Kimi and I see no one but one another. The Viking is also similarly limited in terms of contacts. The numbers aren’t too bad here in London – 70 cases right now. Vaccines are working. I can’t wait to get mine.
I have a glimpse of what life will be like after this has eased. I foresee introducing The Viking to my fest family at a cottage weekend in the not too distant future. They’re going to love him. He’s going to slide right on in there like he was born to be there. He’s going to take me to live shows here in London and introduce me to all his favourite venues. I’m going to have lawn parties with my friends and the girls next door. I’m going to go explore the pottery guild. GG is going to come visit and I’m going to stuff him stupid on mama food and then leave him here to dog-sit while I go on adventures. I’m going to lure Leonard back up onto the banister of my front stoop to take peanuts out of my hands. I’m going to go stay with Sarah and her brood for months at a time. I’m going to road trip to Vancouver to hang out with the EastVan Witches. I’m going to have Art Winos IN PERSON at Sal’s house. I’m going to go on long walks by the river and find all the little pockets of nature in the midst of all this urban.
I’m going to live.
I’m going to live.
I’m going to live.