I wrote this for my patrons today and thought I’d share it here as well since it sums things up.
Things are kinda weird right now. I’ve had my first shot and then the gov walked back the vaccine they gave me so I have no idea what’s happening for my second shot. I’ve been having nightmares about possible side effects even though I *know* they’re very, very rare. The way the media/gov have been handling it has been anxiety-inducing to say the least.
I’m just tired. My friends and I are doing a lot of shrugging and eye-rolling in response to the question “How are you?”. We’re languishing. We’re anxious. We’re exhausted. The world seems like a hostile place filled with violence and stupidity.
But I keep reminding myself that this is very much like the last leg of a marathon. The vaccines are working. The numbers are going down. Things feel a bit apocalyptic but I have to believe that all that is coming to light is arising from the shadows to be healed and changed.
I’ve been listening to podcasts to keep myself company through this latest strict lockdown (which has now been extended to June 2). I talk to my furbabes. I Zoom with my witch adjacent & with artist friends who are all just as exhausted as I am. We are looking after one another tenderly, with great compassion for the experiences we are all having in the context of this larger experience. There is much to be thankful for.
But there is also much to ponder over, and there is much to grieve, and grief is *heavy work* and we are all feeling it.
Are you? How are you? Are you grappling? Have you found a way to rise above or are you barely treading water?
Wherever you are at, I want you to know I’m thinking of you. I’m always here, even when I’m quiet like I have been. I feel anchored to humans through my work and I am very blessed by and grateful for that.
It’s the last leg of this marathon. I know we’re going to cross the finish line. I don’t know what comes after, but I know we’re resilient.
Sending you love and a wish for ease and a lovely weekend.
Meanwhile, I’m working on this for A Year Of Mary. It’s going well but it will be late, which means you have time to join me on Patreon if you want to get this lesson in the next few days.
I love you. x
Exhaustion covers it.
Love you XOXO
I am worn out.
Yes xo
Exhaustion about sums it up. Yes. I got to go and dig in my garden today….that was medicine I’ve been needing for a loooong time. There was birdsong and bee-song and the green people are excellent company.
Hold fast, my darling…we’re almost there. xoxo
Also exhausted or weary or both. Love what you’re doing for Mary, gorgeous Elle xx
I’m sorry, Effy. I hear you; I see you. We will all get to the finish line.
Of course we’ll make it, what choice do we have…we will be pulled thru this phase of life, sometimes kicking and screaming and other times wrapped in love & comfort. Shut your eyes and enjoy the ride…might as well.
I just can’t anymore. My sister (and best friend) died of covid 2 months ago, and fuck if i know how to deal. And then you have all these assholes protesting against the sanitary measures in Quebec and i just want to rip faces off. Becuz. I. Just. Cannot. Anymore.
Lil, so sorry for your losses. While I have not had immediate family or friends pass of covid, we have lost acquaintances. And my sister passed 15 years ago. I know how hard that was; and can’t imagine the layers of pain, anger and frustration that must accompany these losses for you at this time. Feels like the world has gone crazy.
That was beautiful and sweet, thank you. I hope you get your 2nd vaccine. Sending you much ❤️❤️
Worn out sums it up I think.
Sending lots of love. The whole thing is absolutely exhausting.
That page for A Year of Mary is beautiful! Your work is always such a lovely sigh of relaxation and beauty in the world.
Yes, languishing, Also had my first vaccine, with the second one scheduled in a few weeks. Vaccines in France are now open to everyone 18 years and over so I have hope. Things are opening up, which means I’ll be able to go have a drink on my birthday on Friday. Hang in there, we are so close!