I. And not a teddy bear, either. A red in the fang and claw, big burly cantankerous miserable lumbering dangerous “The Revenant” style bear. But I got through it.
II. The usual autumnal bout of vertigo hit me just in time for Samhain, which annoyed me to no end, and I had a few moments there where I wondered if this was just gonna be my new normal, but nope. Benadryl and Reactine eventually worked and I am no longer spinning off the planet every time I move. Leaf mold allergy. Who’da thunk it? But given that when I went to get tested for allergies my whole arm lit up like a Christmas tree, it figures. Last time it was this bad, it lasted for weeks and weeks, but I got savvy to it this time, so it passed within a week. I expect I’ll grapple with it until the trees are done doing their thing and we have a good blanket of snow, but at least I know how to treat it and that I’m not going to die from it.
III. We had snow yesterday and I loved it. This surprised me because I am usually the kind of girl who will groan and whine and fuss over the onset of winter, but not this time. This time I’m ready for thigh-high cable knit reading socks and my Amigo The Devil plush hooded robe and blanket forting with the furbabes and hot toddies and binge-watching whatever I want.
IV. Mumblefish about things I can’t talk about because they’re too heavy and too painful and not really my story to tell but universe? If you’re listening? Fix it. Thank you.
V. Butandalso there are two big containers of soup to heat and eat today, and the vertigo is gone, and I went to pottery on Tuesday and had some success at centering, opening, and widening, and I’m going back on Saturday to do more of the same and it is the most wholesome thing I’ve ever done – the most grounding and challenging – and there’s this thing they do where you can rent a wheel for a week and make all the pots you can in that time and return the wheel with the pots and they’ll fire them for you and let you use their glazes. This is something I’m going to do this winter. That and handbuild watercolour palettes and paint cups and maybe little offering bowls.
VI. GG is doing a lot better. It was touch and go there for a while, but he is stable and medicated and gainfully employed and in good spirits. I am relieved. We gotta get him moved here, though. I want him close enough to come over for Sunday dinner on the regular, and he wants the same. We’re conspiring. Wish us luck.
VII. I got Moonshine and BOD ready earlier this year than last year and I’m counting that as a victory. I’ve also nailed down what I want to do over on Patreon next year. “Book Of Mirrors”. Uplifting spreads in a Sweet Trash Journal. Some poems, some songs, some quotes. Something for everyone. My patrons are excited about it and so am I.
VIII. Andrea wrote a thing on spiritual bypassing and gaslighting and I was so happy to read it because I have been chafing about this stuff for a long, long time now and it’s good to see I’m not alone. If your response to people in distress is to tell them to look on the bright side, or to abandon them because they’re “too negative” or to offer them unsolicited, useless advice, you’re kind of an asshole, okay? Stop that. It serves no one.
IX. I said what I said.
X. Today is for clawing my house back from the week of vertigo, and I’m resentful that the dishes have not yet learned how to do themselves, but in other news, I look like this in this hat so it’s not all bad.
A friend took this picture during a Ladies Night with the next-door neighbours on a Saturday before the vertigo hit and now a hat just like this is on its way to me because I *need this hat*. This hat is life!
Oh, and also! I dressed up for Halloween for the first time in a million years and went to an actual party and that was super fun and memorable.
And this was me after teaching the second in a new series of weekend retreats that I’m doing now that I know how much I love teaching “live” in a Zoom room full of engaged and lovely human beans.
There. Proof of life.
P.S. Art Bundles for Good went on sale today and my Journal Jam Retreat is included. Get it!