I. After getting all of that out of my system, my body went through some stuff that felt like some kind of somatic release. First, I shook like a leaf for a while. Then, the shaking eased and I melted into a puddle of more relaxed than I’ve been in a long, long time. Then I got goosebumps and felt waves of contentment wash over me. I put together two pieces of flat-packed furniture (one more to go, and I’ll have a place to sit and eat or write or whatever one does while sitting at an actual table). I ate a massively stacked smoked meat sandwich on rye with coleslaw on the side. I had a slice of chocolate cake, a cuddle with the doggos, and then watched a few episodes of season 4 of The Great Pottery Throwdown. I slept beautifully. I woke up naturally, with no alarm necessary at the break of dawn (I love doing that!).
I woke up feeling clear.
II. A little while ago I signed up for a Moonology challenge (I’m a fan of Yasmin Boland’s way of working with the phases of the moon) and the challenge starts today. Turns out one of our first recommended activities is to clear the impact of the past on our present. Well, then! Perfect timing! Done and dusted, though today I will apply ritual action to the release as instructed because I love me some spicy psychology (aka witchcraft).
I like that kind of serendipity.
III. I’m really loving this new thing I do where I sign up for things and actually follow through with them. Especially right now when I’m chomping at the bit for any kind of movement forward. Any little thing I can engage and make progress on feels really good right now, so I’ve signed up for a bunch. A year of rituals with Christopher Penczak. Shadow work with Jane Cunningham. A bunch of Brighid-centered offerings from various teachers. Fierce Grace with Carrie Anne Moss. A folk magic immersion with Matthew Venus. I’ve dusted off some of the stuff that’s been sitting on my hard drive for years, too, and I’ve actually done a few lessons in Life Book already this year! I don’t know what happened, exactly, but that feeling like my wheels were spinning in the mud is gone and I’ve lurched (and cussed) my way out of stuckness and into action.
I like it.
Speaking of which…
IV. Yesterday, I did my intake interview with a primary care provider, so I no longer have to worry about who’s going to prescribe my asthma meds. It’s a neat little collective of nurse practitioners who can diagnose and prescribe and refer out to whatever kind of care you need, including dentists and eye doctors and physiotherapists. I love this, and I realize how lucky I am that I got this done so soon after moving here. It can take *years* but I have determined friends who will a) sit with me while I fill out paperwork (thanks, Renee!) and friends who will bring up my situation during their own visits with the nurse practitioner (thanks, Kimi!) and voila!
And in the same vein…
V. I’m ready for a rebrand for my little empire, but I’m not sure where to start so I’m just sort of sitting with it for a bit. I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now, and was reminded yesterday that there are people who do this kind of thing for a living, so I’m half-expecting the universe to plunk whoever it is that’s supposed to help me with this (because there’s someone. I can feel it!) right into my field of vision so we can get to work.
VI. I saw this on the Internets and now, I, too, will forever call ellipses “drama dots”. I love a good pregnant pause. Don’t you?
VII. I spent some time on Zoom with my sweet wee girl and we talked about neurodivergence and compared notes and I apologized for genetics and we laughed about it, but underneath that laughter was a palpable relief that comes with knowing that we’re not alone and we’re in this together. It brought home to me once more the fact that we can navigate anything in the right company.
One of my love languages is getting people and being gotten but there is something especially powerful in getting and being gotten by your own kid.
Speaking of kids…(DRAMA DOTS!)
VIII. The boys are all good and sorting out their stuff, and I’m proud of them and relieved, because they’re coming together as a little village to solve some of the issues that would have required a lot of time, labour, and money on my part, but now that they’re getting it sorted on their own, I can continue to do my own thing over here and drop in now and then as a cheerleader and a contented observer, and that makes me *ridiculously happy*.
X. Today, I will fling paint, work on building some more flat-packed furniture (a high table and two chests of drawers on wheels for art supplies), stuff my face on chocolate-covered almonds and cheese and whatever else I want to eat, and I will do all of that alcohol-free, and that’s worth celebrating. *Clinks mugs with you*