I. Fest left me speechless. I really don’t know how to write about it except to say I came home transformed, re-wilded, ready for what’s next. I love the new site. I loved feeling surrounded by beloveds. I loved feeling beloved. I miss it already and I can’t wait for Harvest.

There was *nothing* missing. Nothing. It was perfect.

II. I came home and did the usual post-fest crash, but I’m back in the swing of things now with some needed additions to my routine so I can keep the magic alive. It’s no longer enough to stoop sit and soak up the sun. My body wants the river. It wants trees and a trail to walk. It wants to move.

Of course, I broke my toe first night of fest, and I’ve done something to my knee, so that’s been a bit of a struggle, but I’m doing it. Slowly and carefully, but it’s happening.

III. I ordered a knee brace. We’ll see if it helps.

IV. I wrote a poem on the first post-fest Friday in order to remind myself that it’s okay to want things in times like these. I shared it on the socials and via my newsletter and whoa. The response has been wild. I guess it hit a nerve?

I Will To Live

As an antedote to despair
I took up pen and paper
and decided
line by line
to live
like so –
I will live to see
a concert at the Gorge.
I will live
to have something I painted
in a gallery.
I will live to see
a slim, fine volume
of my poetry
in your hands.
I will live to gather
my witches
in person
in nature.
I will live
to paint with them,
to circle with them
under the same moon.
I will live to
be loved as I have loved.
I will live to
be comfortable
in my own skin.
I will live to
strip down to nothing
without wondering
how I will be received.
I will trust myself
to someone’s eyes
and hands
fully and completely
knowing my trust is well placed
and well earned.
I will live to see you free.
I will live to see us free.
I will live. I will to live.
I will live to
fall apart in
someone’s arms.
I will live to
be dusted off
and set upright again.
I will live in fury.
I will live in pride.
I will live in power.
I will live knowing
your worth and mine.
I will live to learn
to play the ukulele
because the thought
delights me.
I will live to write
and play a song.
I will sing out loud
without caring
how I sound or if you like it.
I will live to offer my song
to the one who gave me voice.
I will live to dance
around the fire
once, twice, three times
or twenty
without wondering if
I am pleasing to your eyes.
I will live to offer my dance
to the one who gave me bones.
I will sing because I love to sing.
I will dance because I love to dance.
I will live because I love to live.
I will live.
I will live.
I will live.
I will
I will
to live.
June 24, 2022
IV. Notice that line about having my art in a gallery? I got a message from a friend yesterday asking me if I’d like to show in HER gallery, so magicks!
V. I don’t know if I’ve blogged about this in enough detail for this sentence to make sense, but it doesn’t matter. Still no word on my therapist. I live in hope.
VI. Month-end is almost completely done and then it’s time to rinse, repeat. I love the structure I’ve built into my life, but there are times when I start to chomp at the bit of it. Thankfully, I know that my kind of wild needs a schedule and a list to slay and deadlines and structure or I will spiral. Knowing what’s next keeps me moving. I’m grateful to past me for setting things up this way.
VII. I painted this for Moonshine. If you’re into painting as art witchery, you might want to check out my Patreon where a new painting tutorial goes up each and every month.

VIII. Today finds me grateful I live in Canada but also terrified about the potential “spill up” that might happen since there is a Canadian contingent that has swallowed the red pill and wants what is happening to the south of me to happen here. Today’s Journal52 touched on the fury many of us are feeling. Think of it as a permission slip to feel that fury and let it fuel the kind of action and activism that will help to change things.

Grab the file on Dropbox

 

IX. I’m taking delivery on a window AC unit today and I could not be more excited. It’s the little things.

 

X. It’s good to be alive in the world.

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