The Edge

Today (and yesterday) has been very traumatic for me. I’ve spent about 72 hours in a state of constant anxiety – verging on panic attack, swinging into panic attack, and then yielding out again. I am applying self-empathy liberally, and I’ve also been in touch with my best girlfriend, and my therapist throughout.

So, I am okay, but in ‘trauma warrior’ mode, which requires my full, unerring vigilance so I don’t fall back into old, self-destructive patterns. I know what I have to do. I have the skills. I have the support. I’m going to use them.

That being said, painting is everything right now, so this is both how I’m keeping myself from going off the deep end, and all I’ve got for the blog along.

Finished this beauty this weekend. She’s mixed media on paper. Spray inks, acrylics, metallic paints and pens, India ink markers, coloured pencils…

The camera truly cannot capture this beauty, even though this was photographed in natural light. I call her “Silver Girl”. If I can manage to get a good image of her, I might make prints.

And there’s this, which I started this morning so I can have it ready in time for BOD2018, Session Two to begin in May. My peeps have been requesting three quarter portraits, and charcoal tutorials, so I’m aiming to please even though this is *way* outside fo my own personal comfort zone.

This is a cross between Frida and Marie, charcoal with a limited palette. She’s still in progress. I can’t wait to see how she turns out.

And just because I love you, I want to share my ear worm with you.

I’m feeling this. Exactly this. As rough as things are right now, as painful it is to have the scales falling from my eyes the way they are, as much as I am fucking dreading what comes next, I really, deeply feel exactly like this.

I’m on the edge of glory. I swear to fucking god. Just you wait and see.

 

 

 

Strength VIII {Poem}

Strength VIII

She is all heart rage
as she wraps pale hands
around his muzzle

and I’m all envy,
watching.

I know her secret
but I don’t have her power,
to look unflinchingly
beyond the fangs,
to hear beyond the raging roar,
to love beyond reason.

I’m not crowned in forever.
I’m finite.
I’m human.

I envy her, I do,
but my hands bleed
when they are bitten.

©Effy Wild

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

Spring Is Done With Your Shenanigans, Winter

Since the weather outside has not been cooperating with my desire for spring, I did a little weather art/magick over a period of three days and painted my own version of how pissed off Spring is with Winter hanging around like it’s been doing.

She’s mixed media. She started with charcoal on paper, and then progressed from there with layers of fluid acrylics, acrylic inks, clear gesso, Prismacolor pencil, modelling paste, Faber Castell Marker, gold pen, and Sakura Glaze pen.

I finished her yesterday evening, and today? Today the sun is out, and it was light jacket weather.

So, maybe I’m a weather witch, or maybe I’m not, but I got a painting AND good weather for my efforts either way.

***

In Other News

In case you hadn’t heard, Journal52 is still on sale for $20 until the end of this blog hop. I hope to see you there, since it is a lovely nudge in the direction of creating something on a weekly basis. I released this last week’s edition to everyone for free over on my Patreon, so if you’d like to snag that, you can do that here. 

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

Telling The Bees

Today, I thought I’d celebrate Friday with a speed painting of one of the spreads I did for Book Of Days not long ago. Here you go.

MUSIC BY KRYSTYN PIXTON who you need to know, because GORGEOUS!

I’m making some changes in my life that are making me incredibly anxious, and, frankly, triggering the fuck out of me, so I’m going to be self-soothing this weekend by doing lots of painting and puttering. I find transitions easier to bear when I keep myself too busy to think too much. My brain can be a dangerous place.

I also wanted to remind you that Journal52 is on sale for $20 until the end of this blog along! Please check it here! And if you visit my Patreon today, you can get this week’s edition for freebies! Yay!

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

Blog Along With Effy – Day #19 – I’m Over At Strumpet Stencils Today {VIDEO TUTORIAL}

Hi, loves! I am SO STOKED to be a part of Sarah Trumpp’s amazing stencil design team. Here is my latest project. Note that there is a coupon code near the end of the video!


 

And that’s me for today. 

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

 

Blog Along With Effy – Day #18 – Undating, An Ode To Sal, and Branding

Every month in Moonshine, we make a vow on the New Moon, and paint as a way to offer up energy towards the attainment of our desire. This past new moon, I painted about wanting to balance compassion with impulse, and made a vow to *pause* before i act. This led to a deep period of introspection about a relationship-ish thing I was in, pausing to really lean into how I felt about it. And then I acted in full awareness of what I was choosing (a hand up to say ‘no’) and why I was choosing it (too much old tape around ambivalence, and avoidant attachment).

There are breadsticks – you know – those delightful ‘between relationship’ encounters that are delicious but are never going to be the main event, and then there is the roller coaster that is feast or famine, hot or cold, and while I am all over and a huge fan of breadsticks, I am not wired to withstand feast or famine.

Which doesn’t mean it was an easy choice. I had to weigh the weight of ‘nothing at all’ against ‘a little something now and then’, but when the latter comes with anxiety, the choice, for me, is clear. No hard feelings. Not working for me. No more un-dating for me. If I do venture out again, it will be in the context of *actually dating* someone who *actually wants to date*.

So, I’m good with that.

***

I was out with my lovely friend, Sal, today. YOU MUST CHECK OUT HER ART SHE IS AMAZING! Anyway, we had the most amazing lunch – a crisp, citrusy Sauvignon Blanc (Kim Crawford), a goat cheese platter with roasted garlic, and lettuce leaves to wrap it in instead of focaccia, and a deeply, deeply earthy wild mushroom soup with basil oil. We got caught up on what’s going on. Did a quick (like, for me, quickest ever) trip to Curry’s to pick up a few needful things (in my case, fluorescent Liquitex Soft Body paints, and a few new brushes, and in her case, Copic refills). We marvelled at my restraint, and laughed at my uncharacteristically tiny bag of stuff.

I adore her. I really do. She’s just…

Well, let me tell you. I was talking about wanting desperately to upgrade my skills, because while it is true that most people don’t sign up for my classes because I make great art (I make okay art! Don’t get me wrong! It’s okay! But it’s not great!), I would really like to be creating art at the same level as I write. Which is a little unfair because I have been writing since I first held one of those chubby blue pencils in my hand in kindergarten, but I have only been painting since late 2009, and I work *so hard, y’all, like you have no idea*, so time is at a premium, and there is very little time for ‘skills upgrades’, if you know what I mean.

But I know it’s time. I have some catching up to do. I want to be really good. Not just ‘passably okay’, but, like I said, at least as good at the art part as I am the writing part (and I am really fabulous at the writing part, so I have some catching up to do!).

Anyway, I was saying this, and she said, “Well, that’s it, Effy. You’re going to come over a few hours a week, and we are just going to draw.”

Just like that. You and me, we’re going to slay this thing together. We’re going to get you there. 

That’s the kind of friend she is.

This is where the average blogger would say hashtag ‘so blessed’ but, really, all I’ve got is a gobsmacked, watery, stupid ass grin on my face, because whoa, man. So. Fucking. Blessed.

And also, Sal, I keep forgetting the deli paper, and the other thing, so please TEXT ME AND REMIND ME NEXT TIME because I am such a scatterbrain. Love you. <3

***

I’m playing with branding, because there is a lot of slick stuff out there that makes me have branding envy. I hooked myself up with a five day challenge/course (for free) called Vibe Your Tribe put on by Jessica at Photograph Your Brand. 

She’s got us asking ourselves what kind of unicorn we are (I’m a goth/emo unicorn), what words we use to describe our personality (a little on the dark side of fey, crotchety swearbear) and challenging us to use photographs of ourselves that actually reflect our personalities to that we will attract the right people. She also has us writing elevator speeches of the ‘very quickly describe who you work for, what you do, and what you believe’ kind.

Anyway. I’m having fun with Canva, which was a new discovery for me, and this morning, I made a few branding graphics that thrilled me, and one that legit*CRACKED ME THE FUCK UP*. I love them so much. Here are just a few.

Ya gotta click them to see the ‘tag line’ at the bottom. I am delighted, and preening, and very pleased with myself.

And that’s me, today.

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.