Telling The Bees

Today, I thought I’d celebrate Friday with a speed painting of one of the spreads I did for Book Of Days not long ago. Here you go.

MUSIC BY KRYSTYN PIXTON who you need to know, because GORGEOUS!

I’m making some changes in my life that are making me incredibly anxious, and, frankly, triggering the fuck out of me, so I’m going to be self-soothing this weekend by doing lots of painting and puttering. I find transitions easier to bear when I keep myself too busy to think too much. My brain can be a dangerous place.

I also wanted to remind you that Journal52 is on sale for $20 until the end of this blog along! Please check it here! And if you visit my Patreon today, you can get this week’s edition for freebies! Yay!

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

Blog Along With Effy – Day #19 – I’m Over At Strumpet Stencils Today {VIDEO TUTORIAL}

Hi, loves! I am SO STOKED to be a part of Sarah Trumpp’s amazing stencil design team. Here is my latest project. Note that there is a coupon code near the end of the video!


 

And that’s me for today. 

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

 

Blog Along With Effy – Day #18 – Undating, An Ode To Sal, and Branding

Every month in Moonshine, we make a vow on the New Moon, and paint as a way to offer up energy towards the attainment of our desire. This past new moon, I painted about wanting to balance compassion with impulse, and made a vow to *pause* before i act. This led to a deep period of introspection about a relationship-ish thing I was in, pausing to really lean into how I felt about it. And then I acted in full awareness of what I was choosing (a hand up to say ‘no’) and why I was choosing it (too much old tape around ambivalence, and avoidant attachment).

There are breadsticks – you know – those delightful ‘between relationship’ encounters that are delicious but are never going to be the main event, and then there is the roller coaster that is feast or famine, hot or cold, and while I am all over and a huge fan of breadsticks, I am not wired to withstand feast or famine.

Which doesn’t mean it was an easy choice. I had to weigh the weight of ‘nothing at all’ against ‘a little something now and then’, but when the latter comes with anxiety, the choice, for me, is clear. No hard feelings. Not working for me. No more un-dating for me. If I do venture out again, it will be in the context of *actually dating* someone who *actually wants to date*.

So, I’m good with that.

***

I was out with my lovely friend, Sal, today. YOU MUST CHECK OUT HER ART SHE IS AMAZING! Anyway, we had the most amazing lunch – a crisp, citrusy Sauvignon Blanc (Kim Crawford), a goat cheese platter with roasted garlic, and lettuce leaves to wrap it in instead of focaccia, and a deeply, deeply earthy wild mushroom soup with basil oil. We got caught up on what’s going on. Did a quick (like, for me, quickest ever) trip to Curry’s to pick up a few needful things (in my case, fluorescent Liquitex Soft Body paints, and a few new brushes, and in her case, Copic refills). We marvelled at my restraint, and laughed at my uncharacteristically tiny bag of stuff.

I adore her. I really do. She’s just…

Well, let me tell you. I was talking about wanting desperately to upgrade my skills, because while it is true that most people don’t sign up for my classes because I make great art (I make okay art! Don’t get me wrong! It’s okay! But it’s not great!), I would really like to be creating art at the same level as I write. Which is a little unfair because I have been writing since I first held one of those chubby blue pencils in my hand in kindergarten, but I have only been painting since late 2009, and I work *so hard, y’all, like you have no idea*, so time is at a premium, and there is very little time for ‘skills upgrades’, if you know what I mean.

But I know it’s time. I have some catching up to do. I want to be really good. Not just ‘passably okay’, but, like I said, at least as good at the art part as I am the writing part (and I am really fabulous at the writing part, so I have some catching up to do!).

Anyway, I was saying this, and she said, “Well, that’s it, Effy. You’re going to come over a few hours a week, and we are just going to draw.”

Just like that. You and me, we’re going to slay this thing together. We’re going to get you there. 

That’s the kind of friend she is.

This is where the average blogger would say hashtag ‘so blessed’ but, really, all I’ve got is a gobsmacked, watery, stupid ass grin on my face, because whoa, man. So. Fucking. Blessed.

And also, Sal, I keep forgetting the deli paper, and the other thing, so please TEXT ME AND REMIND ME NEXT TIME because I am such a scatterbrain. Love you. <3

***

I’m playing with branding, because there is a lot of slick stuff out there that makes me have branding envy. I hooked myself up with a five day challenge/course (for free) called Vibe Your Tribe put on by Jessica at Photograph Your Brand. 

She’s got us asking ourselves what kind of unicorn we are (I’m a goth/emo unicorn), what words we use to describe our personality (a little on the dark side of fey, crotchety swearbear) and challenging us to use photographs of ourselves that actually reflect our personalities to that we will attract the right people. She also has us writing elevator speeches of the ‘very quickly describe who you work for, what you do, and what you believe’ kind.

Anyway. I’m having fun with Canva, which was a new discovery for me, and this morning, I made a few branding graphics that thrilled me, and one that legit*CRACKED ME THE FUCK UP*. I love them so much. Here are just a few.

Ya gotta click them to see the ‘tag line’ at the bottom. I am delighted, and preening, and very pleased with myself.

And that’s me, today.

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

Blog Along With Effy – Day #17 – Woman Down

“Woman Down” Mixed media on paper.

I spent my morning eyeballs deep in art, which pleases me to no end. I have been feeling a little lack of mojo taking hold, and I really wasn’t sure I had it in me to film, but I did the usual – sat down, set an intention, and went for it.

A few weeks ago, I came across a story on the web about a patient, then peer, then intimate (lover? victim?) of Carl Jung, and I was a little bit slain by it. I admire Carl Jung a great deal. I consider him a part of my spiritual lineage. When pressed about just how much into the ‘woo woo’ I am, I tell people, a little cheekily, that I’m a Jungian Witch, by which I mean that I believe in synchronicity (a term coined by our man, Carl), and that I work with archetypes, but I’m pretty skeptical and wary of the rest. One of my life goals is to own a copy of The Red Book. So, you know. I’m a fan.

But, today? Today, I’m feeling a bit sideswiped, because apparently, there was this whole side of his history that I had no awareness of – that he was deeply influenced by this woman, that he experienced intense countertransference with her, that his relationship with her was a large part of the schism between he and Freud, because Freud was like “Dude, this is not cool” and Jung was like YOLO.

And this poor woman was only until very recently not much more than a lurid footnote in the annals of history, when in ACTUAL fact, she was a physician and one of the first psychoanalysts, who’s analysands include Jean Paiget.

So, you know. Whoa.

Anyway…

I sometimes feel like being a woman is a little like being an orchid in the arctic. I really have no idea how the fuck we even survive without going stark raving bat crackers. It reminded me of the song “Woman Down” by Alanis Morissette, because yup. There’s another one. Woman down.

Just thought I’d share.

xo
Effy
P.S. This is a ‘paint over gesso transfer” that I am featuring on Patreon this month. Do join me if you like. 

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

 

Blog Along With Effy – Day #16 – Rambling + Sarah Trumpp is Awesome

I’m feeling some resistance to being here today, but I’m here. My only option at the moment is to keep typing and hope something worthwhile pops out, because I’ve got nothing.

I mean, I’ve got lots of things, but nothing I want to share on the world wide web, because most of it is still pretty tender, and I’m unsure of how to even interpret any of it.

It was new moon yesterday, and I spent most of it in bed with my dogs, listening to audio books, sipping tea, and scribbling in my journal. It was most needed, but left me with a bit of a ‘weekend hangover’. Do you ever get those? Like, you finally do actually deeply relax and then you resent the hell out of Monday because you can’t relax any more?

It’s a bummer.

That being said, I have a Spoken Word Poetry workshop to go to this evening, and then I’m meeting at least one of my kids at a local open mic for a vodka soda (aka Skinny Bitch!) and some time outside the house, so *bounce!*

***

We are having the weirdest April weather with snow and ice storms, threats of outages and trees down. This is not the April I was hoping for. I know it will pass, but argh! This living three flights up thing is really starting to wear me down. At least if I had a yard to hang out in, I’d be able to sit bundled up on a stoop with a coffee, and get some sun on my face.

My dogs hate being walked in the winter – like, they refuse, so we have a pee pad system, which sucks, but you know what sucks worse? Trying to walk dogs that *will not budge* and just cry at you because they don’t want to be outside. So, you know. Diva dogs. I know if I had a backyard, they’d run out, do their biz, and run back in, so I am having all kinds of backyard envy.

Still plugging along with tax stuff, with requests for confirmation on this, and corrections on that coming in at a steady pace. I will be so glad when it’s done.

Got social booked for the week, too, which is nice. The only day I have free is Tuesday, and I think I’ll keep that for myself. I might even venture out next weekend, if there’s something fun happening. That is, if the weather shifts.

***

Sarah made this gelli plate video and I’m so grateful, because I suck at gelli plating – I just don’t feel it, you know? I did a huge live on it years ago, and basically never touched it again. Sarah is super good at it, though, and she gave me permission to share it far and wide, so if you’re waiting for me to teach gelli plating, you can stop now because NO and Sarah did it for me. :)

The magazine image transfers amazed me and are tempting to me to drag out my dusty plate. Maybe if I lie down, the urge will pass. :D

***

I’m filming a Mixed Tape monthly lesson today, which features a gesso transfer. I want to work with the song “Woman Down” by Alanis Morrissette this month. I hope it turns out, because transfers and I have never really gotten along, but gesso transfers tend to work best for me. I like how grungy and ghostly they look. I’ll be sure to post a picture when the project is done. You can get Mixed Tape Monthly via my Patreon account. These are full length (at the $10 level) or speed length (at the $5 level) tutorials that come out each and every month. I plan to release the first six episodes to the public at large (as a paid class) very soon, though, so if you’d rather get ’em all at once, stay tuned.

And that’s me, today.

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.

 

 

 

Blog Along With Effy – Day #15 – Dragon Scales

It’s not even ten, and I’ve already done my SoulX, achieved zero inbox, checked in with all my groups, done my dishes, and put together a spinach frittata, which is now baking in the oven.

I signed up for a thirty day free trial to get more keto recipes, since my current repertoire consists mainly of salad with meat, and that’s just not cutting it. I decided today to simplify things a bit by finding an ‘every morning’ breakfast kind of thing that I can make ahead (so I doubled the recipe for today’s frittata), and last night’s dinner will be what’s for lunch ‘every day, so that I’m not wondering what to eat while what I really want is to work or play. Dinner’s will be adventurous, because I really enjoy cooking.

Blah blah blah #keto. I know. :) Whatever, I’m enjoying it, and I feel good. Especially now that I’ve found this recipe for a cheese biscuit that makes my bread loving little heart so, so happy, and also this recipe for keto cauliflower mash and gravy, which makes my potato loving heart equally happy.

ENOUGH ABOUT FOOD.

Sookie, Sasha, and Sybil

This was the view to my right this morning as I did my morning practice. I’ve moved things around a bit  on my couch nest so now Sookie and Sasha *have no choice* but to hang out together on the couch. The usual ‘escape spots’ have all been taken over by BuJo bins and lap desks. This wasn’t intentional. I just stuck everything I needed in the corner that Sasha usually occupies, and now? Now they snuggle, and this makes me happy. Once in a while, Sybil joins them, but this morning, she perched over against the wall so she could survey her domain.

Anyway, they were watching me have a cry this morning while I worked out some stuff in my journal. They were all “whatchoo crying about, Mama?” and after I dried my tears, I whipped out my phone and took this picture. Instantly cheered me up.

I love these animals so much, I can hardly stand it. So. So. Much.

I mean, look at those faces??

*Swoon*

Loves of my life, all three of them.

In Other, But Related News

I’ve been deeply thinking over the last few days about how I react to negative commentary. I feel personally convicted about it, like this is a thing that must change, because when it gets to me, I get really defensive, and then my stance is *generally miserable*, and that’s what I bring to the table.

Enough. Just, enough.

I declare my boundaries as though daring someone, anyone, to challenge them, as though I *expect* they will be challenged, and you know what they say? What you resist persists. Set up a visible wall, and someone’s gonna wanna knock it down.

So, invisible walls are better? Undeclared boundaries? I dunno. I’m still trying to figure out. All I know is I *don’t* want the people I care about, who have not in any way contributed to my generally defensive stance to think I mean them. I don’t. If I did, they’d know, because I’d tell them. Also, the generally defensive stance makes me feel like an asshole. Probably makes me sound like one, too. It just *feels bad, man*. It feels *really bad* to be all full of thorns and fuck yous.

So I’m pondering. How do I say “Don’t cross this line” without alienating people?

Am I asking the right question?

Because, the majority of my interactions are positive and absolutely lovely, so why it is the minority that gets my attention?

I suspect the answer is something along the lines of ‘because I’m human’.

So, anyway, I’ve been quiet, and I caught myself musing on this, and trying to figure out how to be in the world in a way that guarantees my safety from negative interactions.

I know. I’m laughing, too, because that is *impossible*.

Sometimes I’m a total liar. I claim to have dragon scales. I puff up and pretend that I’m unfazed. But I don’t have dragon scales, and I’m never unfazed. I have resilience, not armour. I have deep fazing that feels like lemon juice on a paper cut. I can work through a wounding fairly quickly, and get myself back to centre, but the wound still happens, and there is very little in the way of armour to be seen. Why? I dunno. You’d think I would be really guarded by now, but I’m not. And I think, in part, it’s because I want to stay soft. I want to stay open. I want to be with my heart. I don’t want to be generally braced and defensive. I don’t want to shut down. I don’t want to be constantly on guard for the next blow.

So, no. I don’t have dragon scales.

Which makes me want to ask the world to be gentle with me, but you know? That’s not an option either.

So, I’m still pondering. Still working it out.

Ignore it altogether? Work it out privately? Take it to the journal?

I’ll let you know when I figure it out.

***

That’s all I’ve got today.

xo
Effy

About The Blog Along

Every year, twice a year, once in April, and again in September, I blog every day for a month, and invite others to do the same. We have a Facebook group, and in that group the only rule is that for every link you post to your own blog, you go off and read three other blogs and leave a comment. This is simply a way to ensure that a community happens rather than just a ‘promo’ group. You’re welcome to join in as long as you are willing to read and comment on three blogs for every blog you post. Click here to join us!  If you’re too busy for that, you’re welcome to just blog on your own for a month. Easy peasy. No one is keeping score. There are no prizes except that you get to build your own readership by regularly populating your blog with good content.

To read all my entries for the Blogalong, please click here to access the Blogalong With Effy Category on my blog.