October Was A Bear

I. And not a teddy bear, either. A red in the fang and claw, big burly cantankerous miserable lumbering dangerous “The Revenant” style bear. But I got through it.

II. The usual autumnal bout of vertigo hit me just in time for Samhain, which annoyed me to no end, and I had a few moments there where I wondered if this was just gonna be my new normal, but nope. Benadryl and Reactine eventually worked and I am no longer spinning off the planet every time I move. Leaf mold allergy. Who’da thunk it? But given that when I went to get tested for allergies my whole arm lit up like a Christmas tree, it figures. Last time it was this bad, it lasted for weeks and weeks, but I got savvy to it this time, so it passed within a week. I expect I’ll grapple with it until the trees are done doing their thing and we have a good blanket of snow, but at least I know how to treat it and that I’m not going to die from it.

III. We had snow yesterday and I loved it. This surprised me because I am usually the kind of girl who will groan and whine and fuss over the onset of winter, but not this time. This time I’m ready for thigh-high cable knit reading socks and my Amigo The Devil plush hooded robe and blanket forting with the furbabes and hot toddies and binge-watching whatever I want.

IV. Mumblefish about things I can’t talk about because they’re too heavy and too painful and not really my story to tell but universe? If you’re listening? Fix it. Thank you.

V. Butandalso there are two big containers of soup to heat and eat today, and the vertigo is gone, and I went to pottery on Tuesday and had some success at centering, opening, and widening, and I’m going back on Saturday to do more of the same and it is the most wholesome thing I’ve ever done – the most grounding and challenging – and there’s this thing they do where you can rent a wheel for a week and make all the pots you can in that time and return the wheel with the pots and they’ll fire them for you and let you use their glazes. This is something I’m going to do this winter. That and handbuild watercolour palettes and paint cups and maybe little offering bowls.

VI. GG is doing a lot better. It was touch and go there for a while, but he is stable and medicated and gainfully employed and in good spirits. I am relieved. We gotta get him moved here, though. I want him close enough to come over for Sunday dinner on the regular, and he wants the same. We’re conspiring. Wish us luck.

VII. I got Moonshine and BOD ready earlier this year than last year and I’m counting that as a victory. I’ve also nailed down what I want to do over on Patreon next year. “Book Of Mirrors”. Uplifting spreads in a Sweet Trash Journal. Some poems, some songs, some quotes. Something for everyone. My patrons are excited about it and so am I.

VIII. Andrea wrote a thing on spiritual bypassing and gaslighting and I was so happy to read it because I have been chafing about this stuff for a long, long time now and it’s good to see I’m not alone. If your response to people in distress is to tell them to look on the bright side, or to abandon them because they’re “too negative” or to offer them unsolicited, useless advice, you’re kind of an asshole, okay? Stop that. It serves no one.

IX. I said what I said.

X. Today is for clawing my house back from the week of vertigo, and I’m resentful that the dishes have not yet learned how to do themselves, but in other news, I look like this in this hat so it’s not all bad.

A friend took this picture during a Ladies Night with the next-door neighbours on a Saturday before the vertigo hit and now a hat just like this is on its way to me because I *need this hat*. This hat is life!

Oh, and also! I dressed up for Halloween for the first time in a million years and went to an actual party and that was super fun and memorable.

And this was me after teaching the second in a new series of weekend retreats that I’m doing now that I know how much I love teaching “live” in a Zoom room full of engaged and lovely human beans.

There. Proof of life.

xo

Effy

P.S. Art Bundles for Good went on sale today and my Journal Jam Retreat is included. Get it!

A Mixed Dozen

I. I am hoping that this is my last October in this headspace. That’s the hope. *Fingers crossed*

II. Meanwhile, the weekend got much, much better. The girls next door had me over and we talked until the wee hours. It was delightful. Sunday was for puttering and working and being extremely gentle with myself and so was Monday. Yesterday was for filming and editing and laundry and yet more puttering.

III. This got finished for A Year Of Mary

IV. This got finished for New Moon

V. I finished figuring out who teaches in what month in BOD2022, so I’m getting there with putting that together so it can open for registration on November 15th. Moonshine 2022 is also almost ready.

VI. I put this together for next weekend.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday live on Zoom with forever access to the replays after. It’s going to be amazing. Here’s a video promo:

I don’t think I’ve ever actually made one of those before! It was super fun!

VII. Stuff going on with the family that I can’t talk about but whoa. The worries. I am aging exponentially as we speak, yo.

VIII. I am ok, though. Everything is moving in the direction it should be. I’m hanging in there.

IX. I’m here today because I didn’t want that last post to sit here as the first thing on the page for any longer. After I wrote it, I pulled the six of swords and that was a good nudge in the direction of “Okay, missy. Time to move on.”

X. Insert many thoughts here about how much easier it would be to move on if I knew what I was moving towards and how tired I am of the pandemic and how much I wish I had someone who was adept at navigating life to take me by the hand and help me figure out *waves at all of this*. But also thoughts about how at least pottery is awesome and how well work is going and how much I love my people. So, yanno. It’s a mixed dozen around here as usual. Heh. :)

 

 

Crackling Good Weekend

I. I spent all of Saturday making perogies with Lee. I haven’t done perogies in AGES so it was super fun to dust off my inner domestic goddess and do the thing I used to love to do. There was music and wine, laughter and hip wiggling, and eventually, dinner, which Lee put together for us since after making two huge pans of perogies (a bacon laden batch and a vegetarian batch), I was spent.

II. He went home at ten and I finished my night with the news and then an audiobook. I slept like a baby.

III. Yesterday was spent putting some final touches on things for month-end, and once that was done, I put on some outside clothes and headed over to a dinner party hosted in a new friend’s backyard. I put my offering of perogies on the table and then set myself down by the fire to tend it. Wherever there’s a fire going, there you will find me. It’s in my DNA to be a firekeeper, I think.

IV. It was the perfect evening. Smart people thrill me and everyone there was smart as whips. The conversation was far-ranging and intimate. Everyone had something in common so there was a lot of vibing and resonance and plans made for future gatherings. There was gentle ribbing, banter, and puns that made me exclaim I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE.

I’m so glad I moved here.

V. My perogies were a hit, which always pleases me. Our hosts are also fab cooks so every morsel we ate for dinner was fantastic.

VI. The mosquitos came out around eight p.m. so we all cleared out and I headed home to spent a few hours solo, which was much needed because I’ve been a social butterfly lately!

VII. Tonight, I’m heading off to pottery class where I will learn about trimming and turning!

VIII. There’s a giveaway on the blog. Click here to get in on it!

IX. I didn’t make my thirty posts in thirty days but I feel like the blogging habit has taken hold once again and I’m hoping to keep it up this time.

X. Thanks, as ever, for hanging out with me.

I am a delicate, feminine flower.

Hokay, playing catch up. This is post 13/30 for my blogalongathingy.

I. I wish there were a better way to generate monthly income than Patreon. I love my patrons, but I don’t love the interface etc.
I’m pondering on this.

II. This was lunch today. I know how to love my belly, don’t I?

III. I took delivery on a 52 piece sketching set so I can get into my beginner’s drawing course and I am very stoked about it.

IV. This is what today has looked like so far.

Refreshing my purple! P.S. I’m not naked. I’m wearing a tube dress.

V. Also this.

Art Philosophy by Prima Metallic Accent Watercolors on black gesso because YUM.

VI. Lee is coming over for a late BSG sesh and I am looking forward to it. I will kick him out around 1 a.m. because I am already starting to feel month-end bearing down on me like a motherfucker.

VII. I have pear and elderflower flavoured Absolut vodka chilling because I am in the mood for a grown-up cocktail. I will add a dash of bitters and a splash of soda water and sip it elegantly like the delicate feminine purple-haired flower that I am.

I will do that while wearing pink and black leopard print pajamas because I ooze class!

VIII. Tomorrow, I’m having drinks with friends. Friday, I’m going to reserve for a micro-dosed viewing of Merlin: The Apprentice & Merlin: The Return. This mini-series featuring Sam O’Neill is *charming* and makes me happy. I might also bring my sketchbook to the divan so I can doodle and mark make while I watch.

IX. I have an early celebration of my birth on September 18th, since that’s the only day my friends can make it happen. There will be a hot tub and other shenanigans. I am very excite!

X. GET IN ON THE FREE TASTER FOR LIFE BOOK! I’m doing a Journal Jam + a palette play page and you do not want to miss it!

Click to see these images full-sized and also so you can boop Sybil (featured 2nd row, 1st photo and also in her expressionistic form in the  last two photos) on the nose.

I Think I’m Out Of The Woods

I. I skipped posting yesterday because I was eyeballs deep in finishing up a thing that was due for the Life Book 2022 Taster Sessions. It’s all done now and I can take today to breathe and recenter before diving into everything else that needs to be done between now and the end of September.

Y’all, I had so much fun creating this even though I was feeling the time crunch. The first spread was done during a Journal Jam demonstration. The second spread was done on the “palette page” that got created during the Jam. I am so pleased with both.

II. It was a fun Saturday night. Lee messaged at around 2 to ask “What are you doing tonight?” to which I replied “WATCHING BSG WITH YOU!”

He headed straight over with subs for us for dinner and though we were both full of the tireds and the yawns, we sat up ’till just after midnight watching the last few episodes in Season Two of Battlestar Gallactica. SO GOOD.

These dogs just absolutely love him. At one point he had all three of the furbabes *on his person*. Whenever he comes over, that’s it. I don’t exist anymore. It’s all about Lee.

III. I got up this morning and while I was making coffee, I somehow knocked a wine glass off the counter directly onto my foot. It broke as it landed and nicked me, so the day started out with broken glass, blood, and bandaids. Nooooooooooo! BEFORE COFFEE EVEN!

Oh well. It’s all cleaned up now. Onward.

IV. I have to clean my kitchen today, but other than that, I’m taking the day off to putter and parallel play with friends over Zoom. I’m hoping to have something to show for it so I can get one more post in for today. I also want to pop in on my bloggers and see what they’re up to at some point as well!

V. It’s muggy. I hate muggy.

VI. GG and I had coffee this morning and I’m happy to report that he’s doing really well. He finished training yesterday and starts in his official capacity today and he’s grateful and in good spirits, which means I’m also grateful and in good spirits.

VII. OH OH OH!!! I start pottery classes tomorrow. YES! I am so excited!!! It’s a four-week beginner’s workshop in throwing on the wheel, which has been on my bucket list since I was in junior high! I hope I don’t suck at it!

The studio I’m taking the classes in has COVID protocols in place, so I’m feeling safe-ish. If I like this four-week experience, I’ll sign up for the intermediate workshop and so on. This could lead to studio membership and a hobby that *isn’t work-related* and that thought just *thrills* me.

Wish me luck?! I’ll keep you posted.

VIII. I have political burnout. I watched the debates. I don’t trust anyone. I’m annoyed that an election was called – resentful about it. And I’m trying to muster up some fucks to give, but lo, my field of fucks is fallow.

Still. I’ll vote NDP because if you don’t vote, you can’t whine and I like whining.

IX. I still think about him every day. Maybe I always will. I dunno. But I’m not letting that stop me from doing everything I can to enjoy this one wild, precious life I’ve got. If I learned anything from him, it is that waiting around for the things you really want is no way to live. Spending your life wishing things were different is a crushing waste of time. If you want things to be different, make them different. Ovary up. Grab life by the balls. Do the things.

So I’m doing the things. It isn’t easy, but it feels healthy and I’m ready.

X. I didn’t know if I’d make it through this one. I really didn’t, but we’re a year out now and it appears I have found my way out of the woods. *Fingers crossed*. I’ll keep you posted.

Deflated vs. Empowered

I. I had a craving for KD (Gotta Be KD!) for lunch, so I had that and then immediately crawled into the blanket fort for a nap because CARB COMA. Does anyone else experience this? I slept so deeply that I had a wee case of sleep paralysis, which I find uber unsettling, but I shook it off, finally, got up, had a much later than usual for me cup of coffee, and here I am. Carbs *exhaust* me. I wonder what that’s about??

II. I thought it was Friday all morning so I did the usual Friday things (Journal52, a newsletter, etc) before realizing that it was actually Thursday. What the hell?

III. Finished up these two spreads today before the coma took me down:

I am so chuffed with both of them.

IV. I’m having some feelings about some classes I signed up for that claimed “NO DRAWING SKILLS REQUIRED”.

I was really excited about them, but then when I started to watch and the instructor was doing these beautiful initial sketches that *obviously require drawing skills*, I felt really disappointed.

These kinds of classes make me feel deflated AND ALSO they remind me that I want the people who take my classes to feel empowered. I want them to be amazed at what they’re capable of. I want them to feel really good about what they created.

Which was a really good reminder because every year around this time I start to struggle with comparey monsters about what I’m capable of producing vs. what other people are capable of producing and that’s just fucking nonsense.

I can teach a beginner. I can do it without leaving them feeling deflated. When I say “no drawing skills required” I really mean it. When I say “If I can do it, you can do it”, I proceed to prove it.

So, enough of the “not good enough” crap that this time of year tends to stir up in me, thank you very much.

V. The breeze coming in my window is absolutely autumnal and I am here for it.

VI. Headaches over the last few days, though. I think it’s weather related. I’m not here for that.

VII. Only one post behind in the blog-along now. Phew! I am alarmed by how fast this month is going, though. I really gotta get on the whole slaying of the list thing, but these headaches + today’s food coma are putting a dent in my motivation.

VIII. I’ll get all done. I always do.

IX. I got dishes done today and did a general tidy and there’s something about putting my place to rights that is incredibly soothing. I appreciate the self that knows that and drags me kicking and screaming into action. I bought one of those over the sink dish drainers and it has completely changed my life. Before, when I had a countertop drainer, my kitchen always felt cluttered unless I dried and put everything away. Now I can do them and drain them over the sink and the counters are clear. I love it.

I am “I love my dish drainer” years old, apparently. *laughs*

X. This thing is meant to be a makeup palette holder but I have repurposed it into a watercolor palette holder. These are my Prima palettes. I have eight of them, and no, I’m not an affiliate, but maybe I should be. *laughs*

The last palette in the holder is a tiny QoR travel palette. It’s swoon worthy, too.

And that’s today. I hope you’re well, my darling humans. I hope you find spaces that make you feel inspired and empowered.

I’m blogging every day (ish) in September and you’re welcome to join me.