I. Yesterday was a mixed bag of stuff that included a lot of goodness and a bit of omgdoom – a car accident right outside my door complete with strangers banging on my door to find out who belonged to a parked truck (I had no idea), lights flashing and some guy yelling at another guy, the dogs freaking out etc. It was a few hours of shredded nerves, but I did all the things to mitigate the impact on my nervous system and I got myself sorted. Phew. It also included eating HALF OF A TORTIERRE, y’all. HALF. I was ravenous. It was delicious. There was a Zoom with art friends and then more Zoom with adult kids (I was mediating some stuff. Not an ideal way to spend a Sunday evening, but we got through it). There was the discovery that my cat peed on the apron I’d been wearing all day. There was the impending phone call at 9:45 a.m. this morning with my new nurse practitioner – always a good time, amirite?
II. But, all shook out okay in the end and I am content today. Candles are lit. Day 2 of my 100 day project is done. I am in love with what’s happening. Here’s the TikTok.
I WANT TO LICK IT.
III. And that’s all I’ve got for today. If I’m going to maintain this pace, I need to be mindful of my emotional bandwidth, so I’m signing off now and I’ll SEE YOU TOMORROW.
I. I thought I was going to do a really ambitious 100 Day Project that consisted of creating one 5 x 8-inch painting a day that incorporated colours or symbols or words that represented what I needed in any given moment, but I came to the conclusion that this would be setting myself up for a) failure and b) a long, long 100 days, so…
II. …I set up an easel in my living room, dug my heavy-bodied acrylic paints out of storage, and decided to work on a canvas every day for between 10 and 20 minutes first thing in the morning. Coffee, candle, canvas. Every day for 100 days.
Hold me? :)
III. I’m filming these for TikTok and if you’re visiting me here from there HI HI HI! It’s lovely to see you! If you want to get these posts emailed to you, there’s a box up there in the upper right that will get you all set up. Just type in your email and I’ll see you in your inbox.
IV. So, today was day one and I experienced a *lot* of resistance to getting started. I stared at the canvas for an hour first. Then I wondered where my heavy-bodied paints were. Then I whined to myself about how much space this was going to take up in my very tiny little nest of a studio apartment. Then I found my paints and got everything set up. Then I drank a third cup of coffee. Then I lit a candle and drank a fourth cup of coffee. Then I set up a ring light so I could film the process. Then I changed my mind about doing anything at all for the 100 Day Project and I knit three rows on a triangle shawl. Then I shoved three slices of pumpkin pepita loaf cake (with butter) down my gullet. Then I said “Fuck it” and I threw down a layer of cool colours on the canvas.
V. So I guess I’m in. We’ll see what happens.
I am aware that I’ve made this project a lot more time-intensive than it has to be by filming and also blogging the process, but I love the idea of being more “out there” in the world and also who doesn’t love a good challenge, right?
VI. In other news, I am in excellent spirits. I am loving my work. I am really enjoying all of the classes I’m taking (most of them not art-related, which feels refreshing and good for me). I’m not gonna lie – I’m lonely – but I’m using the time well. Loving on my furbabes. Lots of video chats with my kiddos. Reading and knitting. Text convos with the like-minded. It’s not a heavy loneliness. It’s anticipatory loneliness. Like, something is coming. Not sure what, but I feel myself yearning for something, and I’m living in the yearning.
VII. So much is percolating and bubbling up from the nether depths to consciousness now that I’m not half soused half the time. My self-awareness is a bit overwhelming, and I have access to memories I didn’t have before. Some of them are gnarly, and these recollections call for a lot of self-soothing. Some of them are revelatory, and I’m finding myself shifting in response. Self-loyalty. Aligning with my own integrity.
VIII. I’m applying liberal applications of empathy to the self that sits with all that is coming up at this time. She has been holding so much for so long, and whatever she needs to do to clear it, I’m game. Making this kind of space for myself takes courage and silence and while I’ve always had a lot of the former, I am not so good with the latter, but this morning?
This morning, I painted in silence. It was only about 10 minutes, but I did it and the voices that rang in my head for that 10 minutes were *very very kind*.
“Look at you!” they said. “You’re doing it. Good for you, love! Proud of you.”
Now, that’s what I’m talking about.
IX. A new round of Wild Musings is happening soon, and I’m in. What about you? I love this kind of prompted writing practice, as you well know, and I believe it’s a beautiful jumping-off point for art journaling or any other kind of self-expression. Check it out here, and if you’re in, too, I’ll see you there.
X. Here’s where I left day one of #the100dayproject. See you tomorrow!
I found this in my travels on the interwebs and found myself immediately enchanted with the idea.
I thought about it for a while and realized that it’s not really practical as an actual thing for me because my witchcraft practice can best be described as “engaging in spicy psychology”, so I don’t do “spells” the way the average witch does spells. I make mine up, usually on the fly, and they aren’t generally “book, bell, and candle” type things. I do most of my witchcraft in my art journal because art witchery is my jam.
This could be so much fun as a whimsical project that I don’t take too seriously. I could see myself creating mixed-media art spells on recipe cards. It could go like this:
I sit down and do a tarot draw to see what wants to come up for the day’s session.
I paint something that will call in whatever needs to be called in – love, prosperity, healing, strength, creativity – whatever.
Voila. Spell cards. Right??!!
The more I thought about it, the more excited I got.
So, then this happened.
I don’t know what to tell you. They just hopped into my shopping cart and whined and cried and carried on until I hit “buy now”.
AND this all coincides with the upcoming 100DayProject.
So, that’s a thing I’m going to do now because, yanno. I don’t have enough to do.
In Other News
It’s month-end and I had a bit of a disaster when I was filming the new moon working for Moonshine, so I’m woefully behind. I spent an egregious amount of time making tiny doodles in a waterfall using a Sakura Gelly Roll, and then when I went to glaze over the doodles with some acrylic ink, the Sakura smeared and disappeared and OMGDOOOOOOOOOM.
I went looking for an “omgdooooom” gif or image on Google and you know what came up?
Links to my blogs.
Omgdoom leads to images of people’s faces in shock about something but omgdooooom looped me right back here.
I am amused. And bereft of an OMGDOOOOOOM gif. Could someone make one for me?
Okay, back to our story.
Needless to say, I have to fix the thing before I can finish the spread and get it up in the classroom.
So, today will be for *waves at all of that*, which means I have no more time for *waves at all of this*.
I’ll see you on the other side of omgdooooom. ;)
P.S. I was absolutely in love with the way the light was coming through my window treatments yesterday so I snapped this, and offer it, and these totally chill furbabes for tax.