All My Parts (Trigger Alert)

Trigger alert for mature themes including child abuse, and trauma response.  I. So, there I am, sitting in my studio in a Zoom room with my therapist (bless her for offering virtual sessions), and I'm recounting the parts of my weekend that feel relevant. I move from...

Practice

Thinking about those practices that feed my soul and keep me anchored - very important for someone who can spin off into despair in 2.5 seconds for no apparent reason, and also centred - very important for someone who can lose sight herself in 2.5 seconds depending on...

My Own Worst Enemy

I. My notes from a workshop I took for this cycle from New Moon to New Moon included these words about Full Moon in Scorpio: Deep & cathartic. Intense. Revelation. Something is illuminated that must be grieved. Challenging. Disruptive to relationships. Breaking...

Get Up From The Table

I. I don't want to talk about Mother's Day at all except to say that there was sweetness, and there was bitterness, and I'm doing my level best to give my time & energy to sweetness these days. This quote sums things up nicely: “You have to learn to get up from...

And The Winner Is!!!

A few days ago, I held a giveaway for a seat in Ever After and here are the results: Random.Org helped me select a random person from among the comments, and here's the number that came up: That means that JILL (jillsfine@gmail.com) has won a seat in Ever After 2019....

The Happiness Your Body Can Bear

I. You might remember my saying a few days ago that I had this in the works as bonus content for my peeps in Patreon & Effy365. I've finished filming it and it's going up on Sunday, May 12th as a kind of "Mother's Day" present for all of you who nurture life in...

Better Man

I.I turned up wanting to be elegant. A soft place to land. Sanctuary. I wanted to keep my questions to myself, to take what was offered, and ask for nothing more. I wanted to hold it lightly, to be easy as a summer's breeze. I thought of him as a hummingbird. No one...

Sunshine & Roses

I. This little cherub is having a morning bottle while I have a coffee and check my email. I so appreciate this habit of his while he's here. He wakes up pretty sunny, all grins and burbles hello, let's me change him and give him a bottle, and settles back in for...

Ever After Blog Hop + Giveaway! – Winner Announced!

UPDATED TO ADD: Random.Org helped me select a random person from among 130 comments, and here's the number that came up: That means that JILL (jillsfine@gmail.com) has won a seat in Ever After 2019. YAY! KERMIT FLAILS! I will be emailing your details to Tamara today,...

Lighter Fare + A Speed Painting

Here are 24 questions for Grown Ups, which I stole from Facebook.  1. What bill do you hate the most?  Any subscription I forget to cancel before they re-bill. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? 2. When was the last time you had a romantic dinner? Saturday before last....

Somewhere In My Youth Or Childhood

I. I am feeling fairly quiet inside relative to last week and the week before. The sacral pain is easing a lot, so I know I’m healing up, and the ease with which my body is now moving means a more peaceful inner landscape. Thank the gods for small mercies. II. I had...

All Sorts + Ever After 2019

I. Napmares (as in the bad dreams you have while napping) are the *devil*. I’m so over them. I had one yesterday that I could not shake all day, and then I ended up having the most wretched night - I think because I was afraid of more of the same. I did finally...

Bean Spam & Other Musings

Today is my second to last day in the Artfully Wild Blog Along - I owe myself a day since I skipped one this month. BUT I ONLY SKIPPED ONE, YO!  This has been amazing, and my plan is to continue writing daily. A few of us are planning the same, so if you'd like to...

Emotional Flashback

I. I posted this on Facebook on Saturday evening, but I wanted to share it here as well.  One of the hardest times of day for me in terms of the way my brain gremlins work is when I wake in the middle of the night. The voices in my head in the hour of the wolf are not...

A Real Artist – From The Archives

I wrote this in 2015, but Sunday is for silence, AND we were talking about symbols in The Wilderhood this past week, AND Iris and I were talking about imposter syndrome and comparison and feeling like real artists during our interview (upcoming in Book Of Days for...

No to that, Yes to this.

I. I wrote recently about have a room for every love I’ve every loved within me. I feel a shift happening that is coming as a surprise to my long-suffering heart, but I trust it.  II. Some doors need to be locked. Some keys need to be thrown away, over the shoulder...

Edge of Glory

I. In 2014, I wrote this: I’m dreaming a dream of a home I love, work I love, a true partnership with a man I am fiercely loved by who I fiercely love, friends over for dinner, festivals, walks, camping trips, random little love notes, texts to check in, hot sex on a...

Witch’s Granddaughter

I. Today is packed with people - therapy at 12, my friend, Sal, at 1:30, and then Stacey at 6. I have to go wherever one finds the 2nd Gen Apple Pencil - I treated myself to an iPad Pro so I could start doing digital things and also feel a little bit more mobile with...

A Rooted Dancer

I. I started a painting a few days ago when I was in a pretty good place. Worked on it yesterday when I was *not in a good place*. Achieved what to me looked like OMG DOOM.  This is always an interesting experience for me, because I know there are going to be people...

Ten Things

I. I went to bed early last night, because the day left me quanked, but content. I had interpersonal drama all morning, then worked all afternoon, and then had my son over for dinner AND my grandson over so his 'rents could go do grown up things. Wooosah. That's a...