GenXZeneca

I. I had my vaccine yesterday morning and I’m happy to report that it hasn’t been any worse than any other jab I’ve ever gotten. My arm is super sore, and I am pretty tired, but that is better than OH I DUNNO DEAD so I’ll take it.

My second jab is scheduled for August 26th, but there was a suggestion that I might get it sooner depending on how many doses come in and what the uptake is.

I get the hesitancy people are experiencing because the rollouts were handled so horribly and it wasn’t made clear that the rare occurrence of blood clots are *really really rare*. Like, we get more adverse experiences with *aspirin* than we do with Astrazeneca. But, yo. I am GenX. I am fearless. As far as I’m concerned, the best shot is THE ONE I CAN GET IN MY ARM.

Anyway. I’m happy for the light at the end of the tunnel that shot one represents and I will happily roll up my sleeve for shot two.

#GenXZeneca FOR THE WIN. 

II. I’m getting more and more curious about painting landscapes. This feels exciting. I’ll keep you posted.

III. I’m also getting more and more inspired to just simply draw. I’ve got my iPad all charged up. It feels somehow less precious to sketch in Procreate with my Apple pencil – makes practice something I can do anywhere, any time. No “wasted” paper. I just want to populate my paintings with more symbols than I can currently represent. It’s time to get over the whole “I can’t draw” story I keep telling myself. I can draw. Anyone can. I just *don’t* because my fear of failure has been holding me back. That’s enough of that, right?

Right.

IV. I got ghosted by The Viking, but I’m actually okay with it. The whole thing was a good experience for me because here’s the thing – every time he touched me, my whole body tightened up. I felt like I was bracing for something. The wrongness of the connection wasn’t registering with my brainmeats, but it was registering in my body, and that’s excellent data. Still. He can go die in a fire, because I offered him a second chance to approach me differently, and his response was to assert over and over again that I was super hot and he was so, so willing and available for whatever kind of sex I wanted as soon as I wanted it and then to ghost me after three dates with no action.

Ugh. 

In the words of my witch adjacent, “Why men?”

V. More good data, though, is how contented I am to be on my own. I used to love sharing space with other people, but not so much anymore. Not unless I’m 100% comfortable in their presence. If I have to adapt to the presence of another being, I don’t want that being in my presence.

This might be the best gift this pandemic has given me. I’ve gone from experiencing aloneness and solitude as some kind of burden to fully and completely loving it and the sense of safety I experience within it.

Everything from here on out needs to happen on my terms or it isn’t happening.

Hermity girl is hermity.

VI. I still want a commune with all my people, though. It would be so lovely to have a wheel-like habitat where there’s a shared space in the center – like a lodge with a huge courtyard – where we share meals and fires and have parties and then have separate little tiny houses all arranged around it. I’d need two, though. One for living in and one for work, because I love the idea of having those spaces be separate from one another for once in my life.

VII. “I believe in kindness. Also in mischief.” – Mary Oliver

I’m going to work with that quote for the next “A Year Of Mary” painting, which will be offered as a full-length or speed painted tutorial on Patreon on May 15th.

VIII. My grandbean, Amelia, turns 1 today.

LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE INUK BABY!!

She puts her parents through their paces, I can tell you. We’ve had to figure out how to lock the phone when we’re doing video chats because she will NOT let anyone else hold it for her when she’s chatting with me.

Here she is with her dad, my eldest son. LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL INUK BABY WITH HIS BABY! :)

Gah. I can’t wait to hold that little one in my arms.

IX. My youngest daughter is in iso because her roommate AND her boyfriend tested positive for COVID. Blessedly, no one in the household is seriously ill, but it has been stressful knowing that my baby girl is within sneezing distance of this awful virus. We’re checking in every day, playing Words with Friends, staying as calm as we can.

She lives in Alberta, which is as much of a dumpster fire as Ontario is, and her peoples are all considered “essential workers” so this felt a bit inevitable. I can’t wait until they all have shots in arms so we can all breathe a little easier.

She’s been baking a lot of bread and torturing me with pictures.

X. I’m okay, all things considered. There’s a lot that’s “wrong” but there’s also a lot that’s “right” and I’m leaning hard in that direction because that is what gets me through.

 

WE DID IT

Thirty posts in thirty days!! YES!!

It’s been a real pleasure.

Month-end is also done and I can now collapsey heap for a day or two before starting the cycle all over again.

Look what I made throughout the month of April!

CLICK THUMBS TO SEE FULL-SIZED

What a beautifully creative month. I’m pretty stoked with myself!!

While the blog along is over, I intend to keep it up at least a few times a week, so I’ll see you around, eh?

Eternal gratitude to those who stopped by and kept me company here in my little portal of words and light.

xo
Effy

The April Blog Along is over, but a crew of almost 300 other bloggers in my “Artfully Wild Blog Along” will continue blogging and sharing our blogs because we *love* it. Feel free to join us.

All Caught Up

This is my wee little “I was a day behind but now I’m not” post.

I had a good & quiet day. There was rain on my skylight. I ate some sharkcoot, and it was delicious. I listened to more news than I should have, but I’m okay. When I weigh not knowing what’s going on with knowing too much about what’s going on, I realize that not knowing weighs more.

Early bed tonight, I think, since even though I napped today I am achy all over from the 12-hour lawn party. Next time, I’m going to alternate between sitting on a blanket on the ground, which I love, and sitting in a lawn chair, which I don’t love, but which will hopefully spare me from feeling like someone smashed my sit bones with a hammer. *lulz*

There. I am officially on post 29 of 30! We wrap up tomorrow, but the plan is that some of us are enjoying blogging so much that we’re going to continue. Not daily, but regularly. It’s lovely to have a wee community of bloggers to check in on with my morning coffee!

I’m planning to blog every day this month along with a crew of almost 300 other bloggers in my “Artfully Wild Blog Along“. If you’d like to join us, you are most welcome! Both bloggers and readers are invited to join in the fun! The only requirement is that you agree to comment on three blog posts for every blog post you share in our Facebook

I Love Where I’m Living

I. I got *most* of what I wanted to get done taken care of yesterday, but the sun came out and beckoned me and I spent TWELVE HOURS upon it. From 3 p.m. to 3 a.m.

The entire neighbourhood came out to frolic upon my lawn – six feet apart – with a little paraffin tabletop fire, music, laughter…

We finally went in when it started to drizzle

II. It all started when Em found me all sprawled out on a picnic blanket sipping chardonnay and listening to a podcast. I was also watching one lone fuzzy butt bee bumbling around in the dandelions.

She said “Are you drinking wine?”

“Yup!”

“That’s all I need to know.”

It was her day off, so she decided to join me. I grabbed her a picnic blanket when she went in to grab herself a beer so we could gauge “six feet apart” properly. These picnic blankets are waterproof, by the way, but somehow, you don’t stick to them. They’re pretty miraculous.

Em + Salem. Sookie is in the upper right chilling in the shade.

Then, she pulled out her nail stuff and did my toes, because that’s what friends are for.

Over the course of our twelve-hour lawn party, Dani joined us. Jessie joined us, Shane joined us, Conner, Kat, and Demi joined us. People came and went, and we staked out six feet from one another using the corners of my massive picnic blanket as a guide.

The end of the frolic saw us all wrapped up in fleece blankets while we butt wiggled to the music playing on my little bluetooth speaker.

The rain came – just a few drops – and we all parted ways.

I love where I’m living.

III. I have a sunburn and I’m totally not mad about it.

IV. Today, I’m making up for what didn’t get done yesterday – namely, uploading video and making a PDF. I’ve got this to offer my witches for May. It’s called Flower Power and it was a super fun, interactive spread.

Interactive spreads are super fun.

V. This is all I’ve got today because I am too old to sit around on the cold ground ’till THREE IN THE MORNING ffs, so I’m going to knock the stuff off my list and take a nap.

I’m planning to blog every day this month along with a crew of almost 300 other bloggers in my “Artfully Wild Blog Along“. If you’d like to join us, you are most welcome! Both bloggers and readers are invited to join in the fun! The only requirement is that you agree to comment on three blog posts for every blog post you share in our Facebook

 

I’m Going To Live

I. I woke up this morning and got up to make coffee – naked. This has not happened since I moved out of my three-story walk-up in December 2019. When I moved in with GG, I started wearing clothing at all times, even to bed, because living with one’s adult child will do that. When I moved into this little cocoon of mine in July of 2020, I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown (not kidding) and I had zero sense of safety. In my first few weeks here, we had a smash and grab of all the cars in our parking lot, 42’s truck was broken into and robbed, and a guy sexually accosted me on my front lawn at 10 p.m while I was reading a book on my iPad.

II. I had buyer’s remorse pretty bad after that experience, let me tell you. I was like WHAT HAVE I DONE WHERE AM I LIVING?

III. That night, I circumnavigated the entire house with a box of sea salt and a witch’s heart, muttering a protection spell under my breath like some kind of madwoman. I put salt on all the windowsills. I anointed my front door with oil and protective sigils, and I threw myself into bed and burrowed with my head under the covers.

IV. All has been well ever since, and this morning I leapt out of bed and made coffee, naked. Fed and watered the animals. Received their enthusiastic exhortations of love and devotion. Gave all the morning pets and allowed the morning head butts. Poured up my first cup and crawled back into bed to reply to comments on yesterday’s post and do my “blogger rounds” for the blog along. Naked.

V. I threw on a maxi dress just before I popped in here to blog because I was feeling a bit chilly – not because I was feeling unsafe or exposed or vulnerable.

VI. I’m home.

VII. Yesterday was awesome. I got a metric fuck tonne of stuff done in preparation for month-end, which I have almost finished putting together. I had chicken roti for brunch. Delicious! I got Journal Jam all edited and put up in all the places the replays go up and made the announcements to that effect in all the places those announcements needed to be made. I checked in with GG and my other loves. I played Words with Friends. I binge-listened to Love & Light Confessionals (sooooooooo gooooooooood) and got caught up on the news (soooooooo depressing). At six, I ordered a sharkcoot & a mess of fresh made tortilla chips and four different dips (the guac was TO DIE FOR), and a bottle of rose. Kimi and The Viking showed up at seven for a nibble and a couple of episodes of New Amsterdam. The dogs were in heaven.

Sookie is totally devoted to The Viking already. She just curls up in his lap like she belongs to him, which is unusual for her. She usually has to be all up in people’s faces and won’t stay still, but with him? She plunks down, curls up into a little ball, snorfles like she does, and chills the fuck out. It’s adorable.

Here’s Sookie and her new boyfriend. She is in love.

VIII. Kimi wandered home to her kidlet at 9 and The Viking and I watched an episode of Sense8 before I sent him off home so I could watch the news and settle into bed.

I slept beautifully. Something about those hugs that last more than 20 seconds settled my nervous system right down in a way nothing else can.

IX. Today is for finishing up month-end entirely. I’m going to slay the list so I can get everything up in time for May 1st and then collapse in a heap of frolic and shenanigans (which looks like a fire at Kimi’s place, some special chocolates, and a Wardruna listening party). There may be pictures.

X. We are still in lockdown, but we are measuring the risks against our mental health. We haven’t had a fire since October. Kimi and I see no one but one another. The Viking is also similarly limited in terms of contacts. The numbers aren’t too bad here in London – 70 cases right now. Vaccines are working. I can’t wait to get mine.

The trail by the river that’s *waves over there down the block*.

I have a glimpse of what life will be like after this has eased. I foresee introducing The Viking to my fest family at a cottage weekend in the not too distant future. They’re going to love him. He’s going to slide right on in there like he was born to be there. He’s going to take me to live shows here in London and introduce me to all his favourite venues. I’m going to have lawn parties with my friends and the girls next door. I’m going to go explore the pottery guild. GG is going to come visit and I’m going to stuff him stupid on mama food and then leave him here to dog-sit while I go on adventures. I’m going to lure Leonard back up onto the banister of my front stoop to take peanuts out of my hands. I’m going to go stay with Sarah and her brood for months at a time. I’m going to road trip to Vancouver to hang out with the EastVan Witches. I’m going to have Art Winos IN PERSON at Sal’s house. I’m going to go on long walks by the river and find all the little pockets of nature in the midst of all this urban.

I’m going to live.
I’m going to live.
I’m going to live.